So What Wednesday: Yeah, This Shit Happened

Remember So What Wednesdays? Me neither! It’s been hella long. But today, I’m bringing them back, because, well, you’ll see.

So what if I picked up daughter at 5:30pm today, even though I didn’t have work.

So what if I fed her white pasta with butter and salt for dinner.

So what if she ate said pasta while watching My Little Pony’s.

So what if I actually used the My Little Pony’s program to GET her to eat the pasta (yes, the pause button was used).

So what if we watched THREE FULL episodes of My Little Pony’s.

So what if rewarded my daughter for pooping in the potty by herself (while I was doing laundry in garage), mostly because the idea of cleaning up the poop I found in that potty made my skin crawl.

So what if the reward was chocolate ice cream.

So what if my in-laws came over and were clearly horrified by how messy my house is at the moment (read: always).

So what if my mother-in-law wanted nothing more than to clean up my house while I wanted nothing more than to run away from the mess forever.

So what if I let my kid watch TV while feeding her processed starchy food, all while our house festered around us, on a day I didn’t even have to work, but had childcare.

So what if all this embarrasses me immensely.

So what?

What are you saying So What? about these days?

An Important Reminder

Recently a friend shared a HuffPo piece on Facebook that I felt spoke directly to me. It was one of those posts that just went down like a drink of cool water on a really hot day, and I wanted to share it here, with all of you.

The piece–Quit Pointing Your Avocado at Me–is a reminder to all moms that other mothers’ choices are not a judgement on our own. Specifically, other mothers are not doing whatever they are doing AT YOU. In fact, other mothers are just doing whatever they are doing and if you are comparing yourself to them (or imagining they are comparing themselves to you–and finding yourself lacking) it’s about you, not them.

I have to admit, I needed that reminder. I’ve spent a fair amount of my mothering career carefully watching what other mothers were doing and using their choices/actions/beliefs as a gauge against which to measure my own. Many a time I’ve felt like a mother was baby wearing AT ME or extended breastfeeding AT ME or being a SAHM AT ME, constantly feeling like their choices were somehow a commentary on my own.

When a mom at the park pulls out fresh fruit and a metal canister of edamame for her one year old and all I have for my daughter is an apple pouch a Kid Z bar and neon-orange crackers shaped like fish or bunnies or rockets, I wonder why that particular mother has to be at that specific park at precisely the moment I’m trying to sidestep a tantrum by offering less-than-stellar snack options to my opinionated three year old. I mean really, is it asking so much for those kinds of moms–the ones who are SO GOOD at making me feel bad–to just stay home and let the rest of us try to attempt the clearly sub-par parenting we’re barely achieving? When a parent boasts (see, I assume it’s boasting, which just shows how skewed my perception is) that her four year old has never watched a movie, let alone any of the wretched Disney Princess fair, I begin to launch a defense of my own (now seemingly) permissive screen time allowances before I’ve even heard her reasoning.

As parents we make so many choices for our children every single day and we’ve been taught to believe that each and every one of them is of paramount importance. It’s hard not to look for others for reassurance that we’re doing an okay job of guiding these little people into adulthood and I guess it makes sense that when we see others doing things differently, we’re quick to reassess our own choices in light of the ones we see others making.

I think the only way we can judge ourselves a little less is to stop taking it all so seriously, to remind ourselves that most probably, our kids are going to be okay, even if we do feed them only orange and white food for most of their toddlerhood and let them become intimately familiar with the characters of movies or TV shows. Our children will survive–in fact, they will probably thrive–even if we do some things the experts say we shouldn’t. We love our children dearly but we’re human beings with faults and limits and there is only so much we can do. We are not damaging or endangering our children by doing what works for us, even if some articles say we could be doing things differently. Our children will be okay. And in the end, that is all that matters.

So the next time I feel like someone is parenting AT ME, I hope I can remind myself that really they’re not, and that even if they were it doesn’t matter, because my daughter is going to be okay. Actually, she’s going to be great. In fact, she already is. And so am I.

So What Wednesdays: The (Triumphant?) Return

So what if…

… I haven’t done So What Wednesday in ages.

… I was almost two weeks late in posting Isa’s 11 month letter.

… I bribed my 5th period students with free time to help me clean my room – and there was no time left to teach them anything.

… I’m really not looking forward to Open House tonight (and am not putting up any work).

… I should be cleaning my classroom right now.

… I had to put our winter blanket back on the bed for the third time this Spring. (Seriously, though, WTF, it’s May 18th people!)

… Isa has been eating varying combinations of the same seven meals for lunch and dinner for two months.

… My house is already messy again after it the thorough cleaning it got before Mother’s Day (that’s right, I cleaned it before Mother’s Day).

… I forgot my phone at home today (this actually really annoyed me).

… I’m going to cut this short because I really do need to clean up my classroom right now. For realsies this time.

What are you saying So What to today?

So What Wednesdays: Lots

So what if…

… yesterday I posted a Wordless Wednesday post.

… I’m still wearing maternity tops.

… I caved and gave Isa a bottle this morning at 4:30am only to realize when I was feeding her that she was upset because she had been sleeping in her own filth (and now has another horrific rash).

… I’m writing this now (6:37am) because I’m worried I’ll forget all the great “what if’s” I thought of in the shower.

… I’m already starting to forget those “what if’s”.

… the “slimming” undershirt I bought is uncomfortably tight but doesn’t contain my bulges (and can’t be returned).

… my house is a total wreck right now.

… every weekend day in April is already scheduled to the max.

… we got take out yet again last night.

… I’ve been buying some stuff before my moratorium on buying more stuff starts this Friday.

… I wish I could buy more more stuff but I don’t have time.

… I started my period this morning. Blerg.

… I haven’t done any grading since report cards went out. Three weeks ago.

… I hate my hair so much I can’t look at myself in the mirror but I won’t get it shaped into something decent because I’m only a half inch from being able to put it up again and I want that soooooooo bad.

… I know I’m forgetting some of those great “what ifs” but I’m just going to publish this anyway right now.

What are you saying “so what” to today?

So What Wednesdays: Pinball brain

So What if…

… I’m too lazy to do an intro to this post.

… I ate a mini-Snickers for breakfast.

… I had to set two alarms on my phone to remember to feed my cat while my man is away.

… I’m probably going to be late for Isa’s doctor’s appointment because I was too lazy to get gas this morning.

… my bedroom is slowly morphing back into it’s super-cluttered self.

… I let a student organize my desk at work yesterday.

… my desk is already covered in papers again and it’s not even 2nd period.

… I had pizza for the dinner last night (and the night before).

… I let Isa play in her jumperoo for over 30 minutes yesterday. She didn’t want to get out, I swear!

… if my thoughts feel like the final death round in pinball when six balls are released all at once.

What are you saying SO WHAT! to today?

So What Wednesdays: Sooooo Tired!

So what if…

… I’m a little disappointed that my blog hits are exactly where they were before my five seconds of fame.

… we haven’t made a homemade meal in five days. Lately we’ve both been exhausted.

… I’m so tired I can barely think and I’m not sure why.

… I have a secret dream that my children’s book will become so successful that I will be able to quit my job and be a stay at home mom. I know it will never happen but I hope it will.

… my desk at work is so messy that my kids are asking what happened to it. So embarrassing.

… I’m letting my class watch a movie right now while I write this blog. Most of the kids are gone at camp this week anyway.

… I’ve been steadily gaining weight since I stopped breast feeding and even my 10s are feeling a bit snug.

… I’m too tired to keep writing this post. Why I am SOOOO tired lately?!

What are you saying “so what” about today?


So What Wednesdays

Today I’m saying So What if…

… all my girl friends bailed on dinner tonight. At least I didn’t have to cook.

… I let my mom do two loads of laundry for me today. That’s what moms are for, right?

… I didn’t do a Mindful Monday or a Useful Tuesdays post this week – I did manage to get up a Wordless Wednesday.

… it cost $440 to fix my car today.

… my husband is going to a concert every night this week, while I’m off and have nothing to do and no reason to wake up at 6am every morning (except to feed Isa but then I get to go back to bed).

… I’m going to watch Spartacus all by my lonesome and eat leftover tortellinis for dinner.

… I’m being kind of a bummer right now.

What are you saying So What to today?