First of all, congratulations to Sharon at Mindful Meandering. Her daughter was born today and after seven years of waiting I can only imagine how elated she must feel to welcome her to the world.
The woman writing this has no immediate graduate school obligation until January 4th, 2010. And that makes her very happy.
Having said (written) that, I should get some portfolio work done, and I probably will. I’ve been pretty good about getting it done after each set of classes, as I’m supposed to, and I don’t want to fall behind. I’m giving myself a week off though, I’ll start the portfolio work when winter break starts next week.
I’ve been oscillating between near panic attacks about my NTU this Wednesday to feeling relatively okay. The panic attacks have me worried as no other appointment has caused those. The minute I think about the NTU I feel a shortness of breath and my heart starts to race. If I take deep breaths and tell myself that I will be able to handle whatever comes my way the feeling usually subsides, but it’s definitely alarming. I’ve gotten an actual panic attack once in my life and I thought, at the time, it was an allergic reaction to something. I really don’t want these to escalate and become regular occurrences. I’ll be curious to see what my therapist says about all this tomorrow.
On a more positive note, I had a nice weekend. Saturday I went to the Zen Center to do my childcare volunteering. There was one five year old there and he was incredibly cute. We folded oragmi and read stories and had a great time. I really do miss sharing experiences with little children. My favorite line of the hour was when he asked for some tape for his oragami, insisting that “it’s okay sometimes to not follow the rules.” A very wise five year old indeed.
Later that day I met a friend I haven’t seen in over two months for lunch. We talked for three hours. I haven’t even seen her since I found out I was pregnant but she quickly guessed at the news. We talked about my life and hers. It was very nice to have a fresh perspective on quite a few things that have been bothering me, including an issue with some girlfriends that I have yet to bring up on this blog. I think I’ll broach the subject here soon though and see what people have to say about it. Anyway, it was great to see my friend and I look forward to dinner with her again Tuesday, which she generously offered in an attempt to help me keep my mind off the appointment the next day.
Not long after lunch Mi.Vida and I met my sister and her boyfriend for dimsum in Chinatown. I’ve been jonsing for that and it really hit the spot. It was also nice to visit with my sister, who I don’t see nearly enough. Mi.Vida and I engaged in a stressful conversation on the way over there but we were okay by the time we parked. I was asking him what kind of genetic screening results would require assurance via an amnio for him. He doesn’t know much about any of this stuff and I have to tell him what I know, which is all gathered from the internet and my pregnancy books. I felt comfortable with his answers and while I hope we won’t have to make a decision about an amnio, I feel more confident that we will be on similar pages if need be.
Saturday night was the Christmas party for Mi.Vida’s music podcast/website. We all went bowling and Ben made the big announcement about eight pitchers in. Everyone was very excited for us. We were out until 1:30am, which is unheard of for me, but we had a great time. I’m so glad I took a preemptive nap before we left.
Today was all grad school work and grading papers. I just got back from the gym, which makes me quite proud. Mi.Vida made us pasta with chicken and broccoli for late lunch/early dinner and it was very yummy and well balanced. I got two giant loads of laundry finished and I even put away the clothes! I’m feeling pretty good right now and hoping we can get in a short movie before bed time. The storms this weekend brought in warmer weather. It’s certainly not balmy but I can’t see my breathe either and for that I’m very grateful.
I’m only two work days away from my NTU. I hope very much that they do not drag on and that no panic attacks ensue. I look forward to a massage tomorrow followed by therapy and dinner with my friend on Tuesday. Hopefully with all of that I’ll make it to Wednesday without totally losing my mind.
BUENAS NOTICIAS – I turned in my grad school paper and am officially done with the Fall ’09 semester. Only four classes left before I graduate!