Reaping what I have sown

Tomorrow morning the cleaning lady comes, for the second time. I’m so excited. After 2+ weeks of reorganizing and rearranging my apartment, it’s finally done. There are no more boxes lining the hallways, no more bags to take to the rummage sale at my mother’s school. Everything is in it’s new place (not that I always remember where that is) and all that has to be done now is the purchasing of nursery furniture next month. The apartment is actually done. I can’t believe I’m writing that.

And when I get home from work tomorrow it will also be clean. So clean. It’s been weeks since this apartment got the deep clean it so desperately needs. I get a huge smile on my face just thinking of how heavenly it will be to walk through the door tomorrow after work and tutoring. The first thing I’m going to do is take a bath in my just-cleaned bathtub. Ooh! I can’t wait!

The apartment finally being finished, coupled with the fact that I’m in between grad school classes right now has me pretty upbeat. That is good because the EDD of my first pregnancy is just around the corner and I don’t want to have outside stressors making that harder than it has to be. You might think that dealing with my EDD while pregnant makes it much easier, and I’m sure it does. But it’s still going to be a difficult day. I’m glad the days leading up to it will be relatively happy ones. I will write more about my EDD when it comes.

Now it’s time for bed. I need to get some sleep or work will be brutal tomorrow. I will dream sweet dreams of clean houses I’m sure.

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I went to yoga today and it was just what the doctor ordered. My sore back and legs feel so much better.

The good news… and the bad

The good news: We cleaned out all the clothing left in the closet unit in the baby’s room and my father took it down for us. It’s currently sitting in the hall ready to be picked up tomorrow morning. My mother and I cleaned out the bedroom and Mi.Vida’s parents brought over the chest of drawers they are giving us for our bedroom. Now not only is our bedroom clean (except for the bed, which will require a lot of work before we can sleep in it tonight) but we also have extra drawer space to call our own. This is very exciting as we’ve been losing clothing storage space all week. My mom and I also went through all the clothes that were left to organize and found places for them (even if some of those places are on the guest bed, awaiting placement in the new chest of drawers).

The bad news: It’s 7pm and I’ve yet to start either grad school assignment. Plus I’m cooking dinner tonight. I’m also exhausted and burnt out, which I’m beginning to realize are two different things. Exhaustion is more physical, and I definitely feel that, but being burnt out is more mental/emotional, and man, am I burnt out right now.

But I have to admit. I’m pretty impressed with the progress that has been made in the would-be-nursery. I never thought in a million years that I’d get that much done this week. Taking down the two pieces of furniture was way more than I expected to accomplish. I have to say, I’m quite proud.

I’m also exhausted and burn out and I have one more day before I start work again. I’m going to have to take Wednesday off, sans a minor miracle on the grad school assignment front. It might be for the best, as Mi.Vida’s toenail seems to be getting worse and he might need to get it taken off that day. We shall see. Anyway, I’d feel better about being home if I were ferrying him to and from the hospital.

Earlier this week I went to the therapist and talked a lot about how frustrated I was by this week, by the stress of cleaning out the room and the pressure of getting grad school work done. My therapist reminded me that sometimes life sucks and that we have to accept it and move on. I can’t believe I had forgotten this most simplistic of truths. Sometimes life is not exactly what you want it to be, in fact most times life is not what you want it to be, but you just have to suck it up and get through it. I mean, my life, as lives go, great, but right now I have things that need to get done even though I don’t want to do them. And being upset about it doesn’t really make it any better. So I walked away from therapy on Thursday realizing that right now life kind of sucks. I have a lot of stressful grad school work to get done. I also have a huge, unpleasant cleaning task ahead of me at home. These things are not fun, nor are they ways I’d choose to spend my week off. But both need to get done and one needs to get done now, while the other probably should be. This little pep talk really helped me get through the past few days.

Well that is all I have time for tonight. I must get to this grad school work before making dinner. I hope Mi.Vida is okay helping me cook because, frankly, after all the work I’ve done this week, I’m expecting he will be.

BUENAS NOTICIAS – Prenatal yoga this morning was very nice. I really love that class.

Feliz Día de San Valentín

I have to say, I spent a lot of years not loving this holiday, as I spent a lot of years not having anyone to love… but I do love “love”, so here are ten things I’m loving today (in no particular order):

1. My wonderful partner who means the world to me and brings me more happiness than I can sometimes handle.

2. This beautiful life inside of me that constantly reminds me of her presence with kicks, pops, swirls and bops.

3. That my partner went to a couples prenatal yoga class today… and enjoyed it as much as I did.

4. That one of my three girlfriends emailed me from Thailand and told me that they miss me and are thinking of me.

5. That I have the whole week off from work (and that I’m going to get SO MUCH done).

6. That my SIL and MIL are taking me baby registry shopping tomorrow! FUN!

7. That we’ve started rearranging our house (more on that later).

8. That Mi.Vida is making me a very yummy, very healthy, sesame stir fry tonight.

9. Laying in bed this morning with Mi.Vida’s hand on my belly, feeling our baby kick together.

10. That I have someone to share this day with, someone who loves me for who I am and feels honored to be my Valentine. I know I feel the same about him.

I hope you’re all having a happy Valentine’s Day. If you leave a comment, tell me three things you love today (I “borrowed” this idea from Enjoying the Small Things, who’s blog is just breathtakingly beautiful).

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I actually had many more things I could have included in my list. I am truly a lucky, lucky woman.

I’m feeling better…

… about the weight gain. I went to prenatal yoga this morning and we always start by going around the circle, saying our names and how many weeks we are. We can also include how we’re feeling. When it was my turn I shared my concern over my sudden and seemingly continuous weight gain. I got some really great feedback about it, mostly people telling me not to worry, my body will do what it needs to do and that will be okay. Also, many women reported gaining a lot of weight all at once and then not gaining much again for a while. This made me feel much better. I’m still trying to eat really well and get lots of exercise, but I’m also going to trust that my body is doing what it needs to do. I feel so much better about the weight stuff, I really do. It’s just another reason why prenatal yoga is a great place for me to feel strong and supported in mind, body and spirit. I’m so glad there is a good class so close to my house.

Today I went my mother decided to come up to the city and hang out with my sister and I. We drove to the bay and walked along the beach by the Golden Gate Bridge, then up and under the bridge to the ocean time. It was a beautiful day and so good to be out in the sun. On the way back we stopped at a great restaurant and had a tasty meal. I’m so lucky that my mom, sister and I are so close and have so much fun together. I’m very grateful for that.

Tomorrow I’m having brunch with a good friend I haven’t seen in a while. I’m very happy to do that. I didn’t get much work done today which means tomorrow has to be very different. We shall see if I can get everything done this weekend. I think now I shall grade some papers (never got to those last night, shockingly!)

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I signed Mi.Vida and I up for a partner prenatal yoga class on Valentine’s Day. Mi.Vida is being a real sport about going. I can’t wait.

These are a few of my favorite things…

I don’t have a lot of time to write today, but I wanted to put something out there. So here it is, a few of my favorite things (at the moment and in no particular order)…

1.Tempurpedic Body Pillow. Sure it took OVER A MONTH to get here and sure it still has a funky smell from their “special preparation system” but it feels amazing and makes it SO MUCH EASIER TO SLEEP!

2. New maternity clothes. Now only are they more comfortable, but they keep me from looking large and help me to look pregnant. All pluses!

3. The fact that said maternity clothes are courtesy of my lovely MIL. Seriously, she ROCKS!!!

4. My baby belly. It seems to grow bigger and more defined every day, and I love it!

5. Feeling my baby move. I still have moments when I realized it’s been a while and I start to get just the inkling of anxiety associated with that. But then I remind myself that if I wait patiently I’ll surely feel something, and almost always, within 10 minutes, I do. Every time I feel something, especially when I’ve been “waiting,” it brings the biggest smile to my face.

6. Prenatal yoga. Not only do I get to move my body and feel strong, but I also get to meet other pregnant women. It’s the only place where I am surrounded by other people who are pregnant and get to celebrate how good it feels.

7. Cabbage and broccoli with tofu and spicy peanut dressing salads. Yummy, easy to make and good for me!

8. Mi.Vida and his amazing enthusiasm and support. For someone who wasn’t sure he wanted kids, he sure seems to be excited about all of this. That makes me so happy.

9. Feeling happy… finally! I never thought it would happen during this pregnancy but I’m finally feeling happy, truly content. I’m so thankful for that.

10. Being half way there. I can’t believe I’ll be 20 weeks on Friday. I’m so excited for the second half of pregnancy. It HAS to be better than the first.

I guess that is about it for now. I’m not trying to pretend like there aren’t things that have been stressing me out lately, a lot (more on those later) but I do have so much to be happy about and thankful for, and I want to focus on that for a little bit.

Anything making you happy right now?

BUENAS NOTICIAS – Seems silly to do this when I just did 10. I guess I’ll say that I’m about to go to bed and that always makes me happy! 🙂

Dress for the job you want

I’ve always heard that little piece of life advice, you have to dress for the job you want to have, which is meant to mean if you want to be a professional some day you have to dress like a professional now, and not that you should walk around in a space suit, hoping that someday you’ll be an astronaut (I stole that from some movie, but I can’t remember which).

Anyway, in that same vein, I went maternity clothes shopping after my 2nd trimester ultrasound, hoping that by buying clothes meant for pregnant women I would actually look pregnant, and not just fat. And by golly, wouldn’t you know, IT WORKED!

On Friday I went to school in my super comfy low rise pants and maternity T-shirt and pretty much EVERYONE commented on how “all of the sudden” I just look pregnant. I think it helped that my stomach has done some “popping” this week, but still, I’m definitely attributing it to the clothes. If I were dressing in my regular tops, I’d just look like I were bursting from the seams, and not like I have a baby in my belly.

So all in all, I’m quite pleased. I bought an embarrassing amount of clothes (all from Old Navy, and mostly from the clearance rack) but I was careful to think about the following 5 months and my ever expanding belly. I bought some pants (all low rise with stretchy waists and drawstrings, so I can keep wearing them) and tops (again all with “room to move” in the belly and boobs area). I also got some yoga pants, as I desperately needed those and some tank tops to wear under shirts that are too low cut for work (and with these giant ta-ta’s most shirts are). I got so much in fact, that I signed up for an Old Navy Visa and got their 10% discount. That discount, along with everything that was on clearance, made for quite a good deal. I could barely get it all home on public transport.

When I got home I went through all my hanging clothes and got rid of two garbage bags full. For the first time in my life I gave away things I really love, assuming I’d NEVER look good in them again. Many of these were tops I only wore on my best days anyway, and I figure my best days after pregnancy will not be anything like my best days before. I’ve heard that even if (should I be saying when?!) you get back down to your pre-pregnancy weight, your body is just shaped differently. Plus, a lot of them show a lot of cleavage and I can’t imagine my boobs will be coming out of this whole ordeal unscathed. 🙂

While I was at work on Friday having everyone notice the sudden appearance of my baby belly, our new cleaning woman was transforming our house. I have to say, it was the best money I’ve ever spent. And now we’re trying really hard to keep it as sparkling as she left it, which is refreshing. We also have a guest this week (the student of my cousin’s yoga studio in Chicago) and that helps us keep things picked up. Our room is still a mess (I told her not to go in there because it wasn’t picked up enough) and that is my project for tomorrow.

I can work on our bedroom tomorrow because this weekend I have a strange lull in my work load. I will be working ahead in my grad school work, but I don’t really need to be (though I definitely SHOULD do). As for work, I don’t have much going on as the 5th graders are away next week at outdoor ed. (thank god we had our big rain storm this past week and not the one coming up). So I can get a ton of grading done next week, when all my mixed classes only have 6th graders, and some have very few 6th graders.

I guess that is all I have to report for now. I have to say, life is pretty darn good. If you had told me in my first trimester that I’d feel happy, content and calm during the second trimester I would have starting bawling with relief. I’m so glad I started Zo.loft, I’m so glad I started yoga, I’m so glad I got a cleaning woman. I’m so glad Mi.Vida is supporting me 100%. And I’m so glad I can already feel this baby doing somersaults inside of me. I really am having a great time. Despite being totally broke (I over drafted for the 5th time this year, only I don’t really have any extra money in savings to move over… uh oh!) and stressed out about money, and still feeling very ambivalent about work, I have nothing I’d change about my current situation. I really am that happy. Thank you SSRI’s and the 2nd trimester!

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I’m going over to my folks tonight for my mothers belated birthday dinner. I LOVE when my parents cook dinner!