So they think it’s a…

… GIRL! But they’re really not sure (they told us not to paint any walls yet). The baby was not in a great position to get a definitive look but they didn’t see boy parts and they thought they saw girl parts… so we shall see. I’m not surprised that Frijolito (or should I start calling her Frijolita?) did not cooperate fully. That is just our luck.

Everything else looks great though, and that is really the important thing. I have to say, I’m so excited to be feeling the baby all the time, I really can’t be bothered to be upset by anything else. My students are going to be a little disappointed not to get a definitive answer tomorrow, though I don’t doubt the girls will take this as an early victory. The good thing about not being sure is I can push back the “name suggestions” for a little longer.

I’m having a hard time at work, just very unenthusiastic to be there. I’m not sure what it is, but this drab attitude hit after the winter break and seems to be going no where fast. Usually my anti-work moods are more negative than this and they last only a week or two. This has been three weeks now and it’s more ambivalence than negativity. It’s just that every day takes forever and I don’t really want to be there at all. I hope this attitude eases up soon or it’s going to be a long five months until summer.

Everything else in life is going pretty well. I’m currently caught up on grad school work and school work (shocking I know!) and that has felt nice. I interviewed a cleaning lady yesterday and she will be coming for the first time tomorrow. We’re only going to have her come every 4 weeks for a “deep clean” as my mother calls it. I can do the sweeping and wiping down of surfaces in between. I feel much better about not having to do so much cleaning for the next five months, and after the baby is born too.

I started going to prenatal yoga twice a week and I like that very much. Most of the women are much bigger than me, and farther along in their pregnancies, which still feels a little weird (I’m not sure exactly why). But there are also a few other women around 18-22 weeks and that is always nice. It feels great to move my body and feel strong and limber again. I’m definitely going to keep it up throughout my pregnancy.

My belly is definitely getting “rounder” but I think I’m still just looking fat (with MASSIVE ta-ta’s). I definitely have been overweight before and this looks very much like that, which can be a little difficult. I know it will transition into “baby belly” at some point, and I’m not as impatient for that anymore, but the “thickness” is challenging my acceptance of my body. I went through a lot of body issues, and I’m definitely handling this much better than I ever could have before, but it’s still bringing up complicated emotions. But I’m really not complaining. I love feeling this baby move and if I need to look fat to feel it, then so be it.

I’m having lunch with my sister today. It’s still raining incessantly here in the Bay Area and I don’t look forward to trekking through public transport in it, but I guess I have no choice. California needs the rain so I will stop complaining.

I shall end this post with some pictures of Frijolito, who’s looking lovely as ever, I might add.

Leg and foot.

Head and belly (from the front).

Head and belly (face down).

Back and bottom.

BUENAS NOTICIAS: Mi.Vida took me to dinner and a movie last night and it was really fun. I highly recommend Up in the Air.

Returning

I’m on the couch with my cute little Squeaks on my lap, being super cuddly. I love this cute little Squeaks so much. She brings me so much joy and peace and happiness. She came to us after our ectopic and brought us through a very rough place in our lives. I will forever be grateful to our Squeaks for the love she brought to our house.

I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long. After feeling the effects of the very intense blog-o-sphere, I decided to take some time off from it for a while. I stopped reading blogs and I stopped writing in my own. I have to say, it was difficult, but good in a lot of ways. I’m tentatively returning, trying to figure out how to be a part of this community without it taking over my life.

On the pregnancy front things are going great. My baby belly continues to grow, though I think to the general public I still just seem chubby, and not pregnant. That is fine with me, but I look forward to having  a really, round baby belly sometime soon.

What I do have already, and quite early I might add, is feeling the baby move. I started feeling pokes at about 16.5 weeks, but wasn’t sure it was the baby until 17 weeks. After that, I was sure what I was feeling before was in fact Frijolito. Now I feel him/her ALL THE TIME and it’s always a wonderful, amazing surprise that brings me joy and peace of mind. I’m SO THANKFUL that I’ve started feeling him/her early, as each poke assures me that, for the time being, he/she is okay.

And speaking of the he/she question, it should be answered this Thursday. I have my anatomical scan ultrasound this Thursday at 9:30 and if Frijolito cooperates we will be finding out the sex of the baby. I think it’s a boy, and so do my students (who knows why) but I’m SO CURIOUS to know for “sure”. We shall see soon.

This weekend I went to Vegas with 19 other women from my work. It was a purely fun trip, and we had a great time. I obviously didn’t do as much as others did (drinking and partying late into the night) but I did get to see Cirque du Soleil’s O (indescribably extraordinary) and went on an amazing hike in Red Rock Canyon. It was a great time and I’m happy I went.

Today was not so great. I got into a car accident and while everyone was okay (and that is the most important thing) I’m left feeling very uncertain of my own driving abilities. I wasn’t tired, or messing with my phone or blue tooth, or browsing my iPod or doing anything like that. There was a big van parked to my left and when I looked for cars coming I just didn’t see any. Then I pulled out and there was a car right there, and we ran right into each other. It was totally my fault, and I don’t know how I can assure it won’t happen again. Now my car is messed up and my insurance rates are going to sky rocket. I haven’t had an accident since high school and I drive a lot. I just feel so lame and upset that this happened. I feel like I’ve lost faith in myself and my abilities.

I’m not trying to complain about my little accident. It sucks but it could be so much worse. I’m thankful it wasn’t a bigger deal. My life is great right now, and I’m so thankful for all I have. I’m just feeling a little worried that something like this will happen again and the consequences will be more serious.

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much to read, write or comment on blog. I promise that will change in the future.

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I have a short week this week. No school today and no school Thursday (taking the day off for my ultrasound). I can’t argue with that.

Anxiety hiatus?

For the last two nights it has been dropping below freezing in the Bay Area and the ground is covered in frost when I wake up. This is very unseasonable weather for us. Heck, it’s completely unusual for any time of year! My apartment does not have central heating. We have these old, smelly heaters on the walls in some rooms, but not the kitchen, bathroom or halls. When you walk out of the office or living room it’s like stepping into a storage freezer. It’s been so difficult to motivate to get ready for bed lately, I can’t even tell you; washing my face and brushing my teeth cannot be finished quickly enough!

Last weekend was very nice. I met up with a family I used to babysit for in college. The girls (who are now in 7th and 5th grade!) and I saw the Fantastic Mr. Fox while their parents saw an “adult” movie. Mi.Vida met us for dinner afterwards and it was AMAZING! I got gnocci with pork ragu and I seriously had to restrain myself from licking the bowl. That night we saw a comedy show only because a good friend was MCing it. It was actually a bid deal, at a big venue, but not our kind of comedians. A couple were decent though and I got in few good chuckles.

Sunday we went sailing on the bay. It was so, so, so, so cold, but we were ready for it. I bought a puffy jacket on Friday and haven’t taken it off since (even inside); it was a great comfort to me Sunday. A magnificent rainbow appeared above the bay and it was wonderful to experience. We were with Mi.Vida’s friends and we told them about the pregnancy. Needless to say everyone was very kind to me and tried not to make me hold their beers for them too much. Man, do I miss me a good beer sometimes.

It’s been almost a week since my last ultrasound. I’m tentatively waiting to see if my decreased anxiety is due to the 12 week mark or the recent ultrasound. I’m usually pretty good the week after the ultrasound, it’s the next week before the following ultrasound that gets to me. I’ll be entering that week soon and I’m kind of just waiting curiously to see how I feel.

My next ultrasound is actually my Nucal Translucency (spelling? and/or proper words?) Ultrasound, which is part of the genetic testing screeing I opted for. I have to admit, I’m strangely not that anxious about the genetics screening. This is one area where I seem to suffer from only a rational amount of anxiety. I’m not so much worried that they will find something horrible, instead I’m anxious my results will be ambiguous and I’ll have to decide to have an amnio or not, because they won’t really want to recommend something either way. I’m terrified to get an amnio, as miscarriage is my greatest fear and an amnio increases your chance of miscarraige (if only very slightly). So that is my big fear at the moment, ambiguous results. Not so much because I’ll then by sure something is wrong, but because we’ll have to make what (for me) will be a hard choice concerning next steps. We shall see. I wonder if I don’t have a lot of fear about this because I haven’t heard many people’s stories about it. Is it really stories that instill the fear of loss in me? I’m not sure. But I don’t know of many people’s genetic screenings stories so maybe that is why I’m not freaking out. I do know of two couples, younger than me, who recently had babies with Down Syndrome, so it’s not like I’m not aware of that being a very real possibility of a genetic problem. I guess only time will tell.

In the meantime I’m really trying to focus on eating better and getting some more exercise. Mi.Vida and I struck a deal that if he cooks three times a week for us I’ll do the cleaning (we’re eventually going to have someone come in for the big, chemically cleaning like the shower, mopping and so on). I know this isn’t really a fair trade, but I could fill an entire blog on the issues we’ve had with Mi.Vida helping out around the house. He has a big heart and wants to do these things, they just don’t get done. But cooking is something he’s more into (much more so than me) and I truly hope that if I do everything else, he can do that. Again, only time will tell.

There’s only one more week of work after this one before break. My grad school work is due this Sunday night and I think if I just turn something in I’ll get an A. Being done with grad school for a while will be nice, though I do have some portfolio work to get done during the hiatus. I guess I’ll never really be done with grad school until I graduate.

BUENAS NOTICIAS – Every morning I’m so thankful to take a hot shower. Not only do I get to be clean, but I get to be super warm getting clean. That is something I must never, ever take for granted in the dead of winter.

12 weeks and a revelation

I’m not officially 12 weeks, but tomorrow I will be. I had my 12 week check up today and all looked good. Mi.Vida got to see Frijolito for the first time since he was just a vaguely baby shaped presence on the screen. Today Mi.Vida got to see our little bean moving around and “waving”. He also got to see fingers and feet and what looked like his face (in the profile). It’s really hard to fathom how far Frijolito has come in 6 short weeks.

So at 12 weeks my pregnancy is healthy. There are no more milestones to make me feel better, no more “when I get to __ weeks I can relax.” I know every day from here on out that things are going well is another day closer to things ultimately being okay, but honestly, I can’t experience this pregnancy that way. Now that I’m at 12 weeks I need to find ways to feel confident and at ease no matter how far along I am. I’ll have a 1-2% chance of losing this baby at 15 weeks and at 37 weeks. I just need to suck it up and accept the uncertainty.

I’m so glad to finally be at this place, not because it automatically makes me feel better, but because I feel like now I can hold myself accountable for my thoughts. In the first trimester I kept rationalizing my fear with the high statistics of lost pregnancies and the fact that many women feel trepidation in the first three months. Now that I’m on the other side of that, or at least at the famed “12 week” mark, I can’t hide behind any of that anymore. I need to take full responsibility for my anxiety and its effects on me. And I feel ready to do that.

My therapist and I have been talking for a long time about the possibility of me going on medication. I talked to my obgyn about it today too. She said that 16 weeks would be a good time to start taking something new, like Zo.loft, which has the most studies backing up it’s claim to put the fetus at minimal risk. After doing a little research myself it does seem like the risk is very, very low and if going on Zoloft will make me healthier and happier it is definitely worth it. My plan was to wait until after the winter vacation (which will be from both work AND grad school, so a real vacation indeed) and reassess the situation then, which coincides perfectly with the 16 week suggestion of my OB. I feel strangely peaceful knowing that anxiety medication is a real possibility for me, in my own mind. Before I felt like I would only consider it in the most dire of situations, but the more I look at my anxiety the more I see the irrationality of it. It doesn’t keep me from being productive at work, but my worry is so completely out of my control, no amount of rational thought or acceptance of uncertainty seems to alleviate the anxiety. So now, as I move past the 12 week mark, I will be very carefully monitoring my anxiety and if it seems unacceptable to me, I will be requesting Zo.loft sometime in my 2nd trimester.

Wow, I guess this blog really has become a journey of TTC and now pregnancy in the midst of anxiety. I was hoping that finally becoming pregnant would take out the anxiety aspect but I guess it’s here to stay. I shouldn’t really be surprised, and yet I am. I will continue searching for ways to alleviate my anxiety but I’m also surrendering myself to the fact that it might just be out of my control.

Getting back to the real world… I didn’t go to work today and thank goodness. My fourth (or maybe this is a fifth cold) has become full fledged laryngitis. My voice was bad the last three days but today it’s horrible. Mi.Vida says I sound like that one woman from One Tree Hill, a show I’ve turned on every once in a while only to be so put off by the brown haired woman’s horrible voice that I have to immediately change the channel. For him to say I sound like that is really upsetting, but I can also recognize that it’s true.

I have a lot more to write but I shall save some for posts this weekend. I hope you’re all having a good week after Thanksgiving. I can’t believe how quickly winter break and the holidays will be here. I think I might just make it to 16 weeks without going totally insane.

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I got lunch at my favorite soup and sandwich place today with an old friend that I don’t see nearly enough. It was really fun.

PS – A note about Buenas Noticias. I’ve been asking Mi.Vida for Buenas Noticias every day now and it’s really nice. Sometimes he has to think hard about it, but when I remind him that is about the little things you’d take for granted he always smiles and figures something out. The other day I was so thankful for the super hot showers I take in the morning. I never want to take those for granted! That is what Buenas Noticias is all about.

Attempting to deboard the worry train (with little success)

I’m sorry that I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with anxiety about my pregnancy (shocking huh!?) and reading about more late term miscarriages at 18+ weeks on other people’s blogs has me again seriously questioning whether I need to take a break from the blogging world.

It’s Saturday night at 7:15. I’ve spent much of today working on a grad school paper that was due last Sunday. I’m actually getting through it more quickly than I expected and although it’s not very good, it will get the job done. I’m taking  a much needed break now to write this post. I have to admit, I also might do a little book shopping on Amazon.

This Wednesday I went to another ultrasound appointment. I just went to one a week ago, an “emergency” appointment that I requested when I mysteriously lost all my pregnancy symptoms. I kept this Wednesday’s appointment because it was with my actual OBGYN and I’ve been so eager to talk to her and ask her some questions. I also had an appointment after my ultrasound with someone from the mental health department of the pregnancy unit.

Anyway, all day Wednesday I was a wreck, worried I’d get bad news. I don’t know how I can get myself so worked up every time I go in for an ultrasound! By the time I got home from both appointments I was exhausted; I didn’t get off the couch for five hours (and Squeaks can attest to that).

Anyway, my appointments went well. It was kind of intense reviewing my entire mental health history with the woman who I ended up seeing first because my OBGYN was running late. We talked about my past episodes with depressions, when I was in therapy, when I was taking medication (and what I took), my past issues with food and weight, and finally my crushing anxiety about losing this pregnancy. She was very kind, compassionate and sympathetic, but never in a demeaning way. She concluded that I did not need to meet with her again (because I already see a therapist weekly) but urged me to make an appointment with my psychiatrist towards the end of the pregnancy to discuss putting me on antidepressants before I deliver so they will already be in my system to ward off possible postpartum depression (for which I’m at a higher risk). I told her I’d definitely do that.

At my OBGYN’s I got my first pants-on-tummy-ultrasound. I guess no more dildo cam! I felt like I had graduated when she pulled the regular ultrasound out. Frijolito looked considerably bigger than just a week ago, with fingers and toes clearly visible. He/she was also moving around quite a bit, so much so, in fact, that the picture is not very good at all. After the ultrasound I got all of my questions answered (mostly because I had emailed them to her ahead of time, at my therapists recommendation). I have to say, I am sad that being a part of Kaiser, I have very little control over my birthing experience. I’m trying not to think too much about that, as I have many months before I need to face those issues.

At the end of the appointment my doctor suggested I cancel my existing December 3rd appointment and push it back, at which point I broke down crying and basically begged her to let my keep it. I told her that I still have so much anxiety about losing this pregnancy and coming in every two weeks to get it checked out goes a long way in easing my mind. She was very kind and said that was fine. By December 3rd I’ll be two days away from the famed 12 weeks so I hope that everything looks okay then. Since this appointment I scheduled my NTU, which is part of the genetics screening I will be doing. That appointment had to be made in the middle of December so I will have another ultrasound 2 weeks after the next one. I hope by then I’m feeling confident and I start getting annoyed at coming in all the time. These appointments are at very annoying times and because they are in the city, and I work on the peninsula, I have to take the entire day off, no matter when they are. I guess it’s a good thing I won’t be taking any maternity leave because I’ll have very few sick days left by the time even my first trimester is over.

All joking aside, I’m beginning to realize that I have a serious problem with anxiety and it only seems to be getting worse. I thought by 10 weeks I’d be feeling better. I have a book on miscarriage (Avoiding Miscarriage) that cites a “very large study” that concluded that women who saw the heartbeat at 10 weeks had a 1% chance of losing the pregnancy. Even armed with that statistic I’m still sometimes paralyzed with fear that something will go wrong and it will completely destroy me, my relationship and my life. I’ve been operating under the assumption that this anxiety would lessen after the first trimester but as I get closer it only seems to get worse. For the first time I’m feeling frustrated at my own anxiety and also fearful that it will adversely affect my pregnancy. I know I need to find ways to introduce calming thoughts into my repertoire of constant worry, but I don’t know how. There are surprisingly few books dedicated to anxiety during pregnancy, and most deal with issues that arise much later during the third trimester. I’m sure I’ll appreciate those books in three or four months but right now I need something very different.

So I continue to struggle with sometimes crushing fear and doubt. I’m working closely with my therapist on this, but I’m finding it increasingly upsetting. I really hope that I don’t have to take some kind of medication to control this anxiety in the near future, but I will be open to that if it’s suggested to me by professionals. In the meantime I’m going to try other methods and hope they work. If anyone can suggest any resources to help me with this, I’d very much appreciate it.

I hope you’re all doing well. Thanks for hanging in there with me through this winding road. I hope I don’t sound ungrateful for what I have, because that could not be farther from the case. I am just struggling to accept uncertainty with grace instead of rage against it with unrelenting worry.

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I watched Changeling the other day and really, really enjoyed. I’m still thinking about that movie. Also, I only have work for two days next week! You can’t beat that!

From “Freaking out” to “Resolution”

The first part of this blog was written at work today… when I was freaking out. I never got around to finishing it and posting it, but I feel like I should include it here, so people know what I where I was emotionally. It was a tough day. The second part of this post is being written after my appointment at Kaiser. I’ll let you get to that part.

FREAKING OUT

Well I’m officially freaking out. I don’t really feel sick anymore and now I’m freaking out. At just 8.5 weeks my morning sickness seems to be gone. This morning I even felt really hungry without a twinge of needing to gag. I know I should be happy about this, but it’s only making me very, very nervous. Of course when I google “disappearing pregnancy symptoms” I get pages upon pages about miscarriage. I don’t let myself open those, but their simple presence sends me into panic mode. Then I find the random strand on some website where a ton of women post about having lost pregnancy symptoms here and there and I feel better. But only marginally.

Before I go any farther I do want people to know that I booked an ultrasound for 3:40pm today. I am so relieved to have that appointment but it is also making this day tortuous!  I guess it would have been anyway. So keeping in mind that I will definitively know is everything is okay or not later today, I will proceed.

I went to therapy again last night. I realized talking to my therapist how terrified I am for my appointment next week (now today AND next week). I am so terrified to loss this pregnancy. The last loss was so devastating and it took me all summer to get over it. Now I don’t have the luxury of a summer break, instead I have a full time teaching job with grad school on top of that. I don’t know how I would ever get over a miscarriage with that scenario. I really don’t.

I guess I would have to though. That is the reality, I will have to get through it. I mean what other options are there?  Be institutionalized? Commit suicide? I’m not trying to belittle either of those things, I know people, people very close to me, who have done both. Maybe that is why I’m so afraid, because I know how bad it can get for people. Also, I’ve suffered from depression long enough to be worried about suffering from it again. And losing this pregnancy would definitely have the power to throw me into a really horrible depression. Which would require going back on medication, which would be hard to work TTC around. God, why am I being so morbid right now?

I know there things might be okay, could be okay. I know this. I’m hanging on to that hope. But this is the first time I’ve really been afraid that my pregnancy could be over. I’m so scared.

RESOLUTION

Getting through today was torture. My god did the periods drag on! I skipped out a little early and barely made it to Kaiser on time. Of course I ended up waiting over an hour to be seen. I didn’t have any reading material and had to play countless games of iQuiz Movie Edition on my iPod while I waited. I finally won the last game! (Me:1 iQuiz: 27)

Anyway, the OBGYN came in and she was so nice. Her face and demeanor were very kind and I immediately liked her. I was so glad that she was going to be the one seeing me in my super anxious state.

She got right down to business, brandishing the “dildo cam” as I’ve heard it called on other people’s blog (I’m sorry that I’m blanking on who exactly to give credit to, because credit is certainly due). For what felt like an eternity she didn’t seem to be able to find what she was looking for. The yolk sac was definitely there, and something was inside it, but I didn’t see anything resembling the heartbeat and she didn’t say anything to assuage my fears. It was the longest, most excruciating minute of my life. Then finally she pointed out the heartbeat and also that the baby was moving. Frijolito has a distinct baby shape now, with limbs and everything! And he’s moving around. It was so surreal to see him move. And we definitely saw a heartbeat. I asked again about measuring the heartbeat and this time she told me that she didn’t even know how to do it on this machine. WHAT?! But she did count it for me herself and said it looked just fine. I couldn’t believe how much bigger Frijolito looked. Two weeks can really change things.

So now I get to be excited that I don’t feel sick and that I generally feel more like myself. What a relief! All day I was almost hoping to feel sick and now I can spend tomorrow, which is a holiday for me, eating when I want because I’m hungry and not because I’m worried I will dry heave. What a refreshing concept.

I know that things are not definitively okay, but they are for now. Seeing a heartbeat at 8.5 weeks makes me feel pretty good, hopeful would be an accurate word. So I will leave you all with feelings of gratitude that things are okay and hope that things will continue to be okay.

I tried to post a picture before but I needed to download new printer/scanner drivers since my 10.6 install (best thing I ever did by the way!). The scanner is now working again and here is the newest picture of Frijolito! A definite baby shape, right?!

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I had a great moment in class today during a “story” that I was telling in Spanish. In the story the student had to “llama por teléfono” or call on the phone, so I gave her an old cell phone of mine that is broken to use as a prop. One of my students stood up and said, “Is that a Jitterbug phone?” I laughed so hard! How old do they think I am? The reality is it does kind of look like a Jitterbug phone. If you don’t know what a Jitterbug phone is, it’s a cell phone for older folks who can’t use cell phones. There are two kinds, one with giant numbers so those with failing eye sight can press the right buttons and a second model, for those of the I-can’t-use-this-confounded-technology persuasion, with just a giant button that calls an operator who connects you to your contacts (which they keep on file)! How insane is that?! If you come across a commercial while searching online, I highly recommend you watch it.

Well, it wasn’t a total waste

During 3rd period today I got an *urgent* voicemail from my obgyn’s office telling me that my appointment had been cancelled because the woman I was going to see had fallen ill and had to go home. Needless to say I was very upset because I had spent all morning getting everything ready for my absence that afternoon. When I called back I got a new appointment for Wednesday at 1:50, which actually works really well because we have short days on Wednesdays and I won’t have to miss any class to make that appointment. I promptly called both teachers who were covering me this afternoon and told them that they didn’t have to come. I also called Mi.Vida and told him the appointment had been cancelled.

About 20 minutes later the office called again and said they could fit me in for a 1:30 well visit, during which we’d have an ultrasound. I said okay, called back both teachers and Mi.Vida to tell them it was back on and was stoked to be getting the hell out of dodge early again. Oh and all of this was happening during my last class before lunch, with students in the room.

So we went to the appointment and everything looked great. The doctor was small, old and very Jewish (for some reason I was really struck by an OB wearing a yamaka). He did have a great line, when I answered the “What was the date of your last period” with 9/11 (which has been eliciting responses from all the nurses I’ve given it to) he said, very quickly and very dryly, “Oh, so it was 8 years ago.” I really thought that was funny and both Mi.Vida and I laughed quite a bit.

Anyway, back to the important stuff. So we had another ultrasound and saw our Frijolito (that means “little bean” in Spanish – and happened to be the main character’s name on a telenovela I used to watch religiously) on the monitor. He definitely looked bigger and the yolk sac was very distinct. And… (drum roll please)… we definitely saw the flutter of a little heartbeat! I was so excited. At exactly six weeks Frijolito measured 6w4d, which we were told was fine. I’m so relieved and so happy that things are going great so far.

I got both the regular flu shot and the N1H1 shot today on my way out. I’ve never had a flu shot so I hope I don’t feel crappy over the weekend. But I’m happy to get it over with.

When we got home, we had another surprise in store for us. Squeaks was playing with a dead rat, a small rat to be sure, but a rat nonetheless. I’m pretty sure it was a rat and not a mouse because it was pretty big, and I just recently saw a huge rat running along with wall of our laundry/trash room under the building. I also have swept up some rat/mouse poop along with loose cat litter around Squeak’s potty box, so I guess this was inevitable. Mi.Vida is pretty upset, as he has had to deal with rat infestations before. I have to say, I’m not letting myself stress out too much, though I do want to call the vet and see if this means we should give Squeaks a rabies vaccination. Oh Squeaks, earning your keep.

So that is all I have to report for the time being. We got two new pictures of Frijolito but we’re finishing up a couple-night babysitting gig on the Peninsula tonight and I don’t think they have a scanner. I promise to post the pictures when I return home again this weekend. Tomorrow morning we’re heading over to Berkeley bright and early for the Cal game. My very good friend is in town from NYC and she will be around all day tomorrow, so I’m excited about that. I also have a ton of grad school work to keep me busy on Sunday.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

BUENAS NOTICIAS – I’m really happy that they were able to fit us in today, despite the last minute cancellation of the original appointment. And I’m very thankful that the prenatal visit was scheduled soon, but at a very convenient time. That really is serendipitous.