A portrait by a 5th grade student.

A portrait by a 5th grade student.

My name is Esperanza (for blogging purposes). I am a middle school teacher in her thirysomethings living in San Francisco, CA. This blog was created after I lost my first pregnancy and continued trying to conceive. Only months later I became pregnant again. While my pregnancy was riddled with anxiety I enjoyed it immensely. In early June of 2010 I welcomed my daughter into the world.

Unfortunately, when we tried to give our precocious daughter a sibling, things weren’t so easy. In early 2013, after a year of TTC#2 we were diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (with an AMH of 0.59) and male factor infertility. We can’t afford IVF (which we’ve been told is our only hope) so we turned to diet, supplements, Chinese herbs and acupuncture in an attempt to bring home another miracle baby.

After only four months of “Eastern treatments” we were elated to find we were pregnant. After an uneventful nine months we welcomed our son into the world.

Now this blog has become a record of my journey as I stumble gracefully through life after infertility and loss. I continue combating my anxiety by practicing mindfulness, acceptance and loving-kindness. I try to be the best mother I can be while letting go of society’s expectations and being content with who I am and what I can do.

I hope you can join me as I stumble gracefully through this difficult journey, towards the new me.


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