Well I got it up. The maiden post of my new blog. This is the response I got at home for my accomplishment.
I have to admit, I’ve been unsure of the direction of my new blog. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to write. But now that it’s started I’m delighted to find I have myriad posts swimming around in my head. I can’t wait to start writing them.
I realized that I never updated on how my goals went for last month. The two I was focusing on were (1) getting in bed by 10:30pm and (2) getting through four lessons on Illustrator. Unfortunately I have to declare a giant FAIL for both. While I did manage to get in bed ay 10:30pm about 2-3 times a week on average, that is not the 5 times a week I had hoped for. In fact, that is achieving my goal about 40%-60% of the time. So I earned an F or D- for myself on that one. I earned an even lower grade on my Illustrator goal, completely 1.5 of 4 lessons. That’s about a 35% – yet another F. Yikes! I’ve never gotten less than a C in my life! I gotta step it up.
Now I’m trying to decide it I want to keep the same goals or start new ones. Part of me feels like I should stick with the same two goals as I didn’t actually achieved them (at all). I especially feel I should keep the “in bed early” goal because that is something I need to start doing to improve my day to day quality of life. So I guess I’ll repeat that goal again. As for the other, I’m not sure. Should I move to the the exercise goal I was passing on until Daylight Savings took effect? Should I attempt three goals? This seems like a hasty move when I failed both goals miserably last time. Still, they are all important to me.
I suppose I will do a mixture of both. I will continue the “getting to bed by 10:30pm” goal. I will modify my Illustrator goal to complete two lessons this month and I will add the exercise goal of running (or fast walking) twice a week. At the end of the month we’ll see if I at least pass these goals with a C or higher. Sheesh.
On an entirely different note, I’ve been trying to decide what my new identity will be on my other blog. Or if I even need a new identity. I’m not sure I could juggle one if I wanted to but part of me feels I really should try.
Right now my “name” on the new blog is “Esperanza” just as it is here. There are pros and cons for keeping it that way. People in the ALI blog world “know me” as Esperanza and using that name keeps a certain continuity, especially with commenting. In fact, commenting is the main reason I feel I should keep my name as Esperanza on the new blog. It just seems it would be too hard to switch back and forth when commenting, using Esperanza on my ALI blogs and a different name on blogs I find through Second Hand Happiness.
As the same time, the name Esperanza is meaningful to me as it relates to one aspect of my life; pregnancy loss and TTC. I choose that word (which means ‘hope’ in Spanish) long before I started my blog, when I had it engraved on a fertility bracelet. I did this even before my loss and wearing it during and after my loss reminded me that even if hope didn’t reside in my head, it still lingered somewhere in my heart. Esperanza is the name I’ve used while supporting other ALI bloggers and asking for their support. It’s the name I use as I continue to navigate my life with the scars of pregnancy loss and the anxieties about TTC ever present. Esperanza represents that part of myself.
One of the reasons I started a new blog for my new project (instead of including it on Stumbling Gracefully) was because I wanted to branch out and see if there were another “me” I was capable of sharing with the world. This “me” would still be touched (very deeply) by her loss and her future worries, but those losses and worries would not be at the forefront of her thinking. They would be in the background, surely influencing her thoughts but not occupying them or being openly discussed. That subtle difference is important and I want it preserved. I feel writing under a different name on Second Hand Happiness might be necessary for me to maintain the distinction. No matter what I decide I better figure it out soon.
Do you blog under an assumed name? Does that name mean something special to you? Do you think I should blog under a new name at Second Hand Happiness? Why or why not?