Writing that post yesterday proved to be surprisingly cathartic. It helped to write about my conflicting feelings about the first months of my son’s life, and–interestingly, since it happened so long ago and I thought I was pretty much past it–the year I spent in Spain. It’s not that I really understand either experience any better than I did before, but I seem to understand my attempt at processing them more. So that is something.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can find some joy in the day-to-day. If there is nothing in life that is really bothering me, I should be enjoying at least a few moments every day. (And I have really only alluded to it, but we are really hitting our stride around here, and things are feeling very manageable these days.) So, at the beginning of each day, I’m trying to determine what moments to look forward to and make sure I enjoy and really taking the time to savor those moments when they come.
Some are moments I look forward to every day, like the first smile from my son after I pick him up, or the squeal of my daughter when she first sees me at school. I love listening to Game of Thrones in my car on the way to work and slipping under the covers after a long day. There is nothing better than the hour after I’ve pumped, when my breasts are empty and light and I know have 6-7 hours until I have to do it again.
Other moments are special occasions, like a Cinnamon Dolce Latte at Starbucks if I make it work with time to get in and out before class starts (and have a card with enough to money to get one). Sometimes I let myself have something indulgent for lunch or I carve out the time to watch something on TV. Whenever I get the chance to chat with a co-worker during break or before class, or with a friend on the phone on the way home, I try to revel in the contact with another adult, to let it fill up that part of me that is ALWAYS wanting more interactions with other people. I’m trying to really be aware of those moments that fill up my cup, because I believe my cup is filled more when I recognize that I’m getting what I need.
And the best part? I think it’s working.
How do make joy a part of your every day life?