It turns out that BOTH of us prefer bottle feeding. We switched to Dr. Brown’s bottles and now most feedings go a lot smoother. There is still a feeding here and there that doesn’t go well but mostly it’s smooth sailing. Monito can also keep a pacifier in his mouth now, at least relatively well. Things are moving forward and we’re both a lot happier. When I think about trying out breastfeeding one last time at the end of this two weeks I cringe. I just don’t want to go back to the pain and frustration of trying to breastfeed. Especially when my thrush seems to be getting exponentially worse with the antibiotics.
The other night Monito reached out and grabbed my thumb while he was eating. It was such a sweet moment and it solidified the choice I’ve made. This whole saga has been a really big deal for me. Making this choice, finding acceptance, realizing I’m happier now, it has been an important journey for me, one I’m now very grateful I experienced. I have learned more about myself in the past few weeks than I have in a long time. It’s been so eye opening.
And in the middle of it sits this amazing little man, this miracle. In the end he’s all that matters. I’m glad I haven’t lost sight of that.