THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for you amazing tips and advice on my budget post. I learned so much and feel so much better about moving forward with my new budget. I really can’t thank you all enough for your insight. Knowing that other people have dealt with this also really helps me to move forward. You guys–like always–are the best.
So it seems that this past weekend I kind of hit the wall, pregnancy wise. At 35 weeks, it feels WAY too early to be feeling as “far along” as I already feel. It’s not really that I feel too big, it’s just that there is incredible pressure on my pelvic bone, bladder and what feels like my cervix.
I’m having really intense Braxton Hicks contractions pretty regularly when I walk or bend down or make any movements really. They happen mostly in the evenings when I’m tired and possibly a bit dehydrated (despite attempts to drink water all day). I was having them so consistently on Friday and Saturday that I called the advice nurse. She told me basically to do the impossible: drink a ton of water and never let my bladder get full. Of course at this point the minute any amount of liquid arrives at my bladder it is officially “full”. The only way I could do what she’s asking is to sit on the toilet chugging water all day. (And even that wouldn’t quite work because at this point there is so much pressure on my bladder that I can’t empty it fully sitting down, I have to kind of crouch at the end, like I’m using a public toilet. What the fuck is that about?!)
But I have to try because dehydration exacerbates the contractions, as does the pressure of a full bladder (or bowel) on the uterus. I’ve been told to take it really easy for the next two weeks because we don’t want this baby coming before then. So no more walks or elliptical trainer. I can’t imagine I’ll be able to do much of either at 37 weeks so I guess my “staying fit” program is over.
I’m definitely feeling more “ready” for this baby to come, though obviously I don’t want him to come too soon. I had a dream on Sunday night that I was at Kaiser and they decided it was time to have the baby and basically admitted me for an induction. At first I was really excited that it was finally time but then I realized I was still five weeks from my due date and my baby wasn’t at all ready to be born and I started freaking out. I was also really stressed that I didn’t have my sub plans ready and that my long term sub wasn’t yet available (she isn’t actually available until the week before my due date, which means me nervous). I started panicking and eventually yelling at my sister that this must be a dream, but she kept assuring me it wasn’t. Finally I woke up, so thankful that I was right and that none of it was real. I hope that dream can help me remember that both me and baby boy need more time, even if my anxiety about something bad happening (and how uncomfortable I already feel) makes me want him to be here NOW.
I think mostly I’m just surprised that everything already feels so hard. The pressure of this baby on my lady bits is so intense. Moving from sitting to standing requires a 30 second “moment” for me to regroup. If I have to pee I can hardly walk. I’m having Braxton Hicks contractions pretty frequently, although it’s much better than last weekend. All of this and I’ve only gained 35 lbs and my belly isn’t even that big. When It think of how hard things will be in four weeks when I’m exponentially bigger… well it kind of sends me into a panic.
I will say, that I’m really glad I continued to exercise as long as I did. I can’t imagine how hard this would feel if I were completely out of shape (and weighing a good 10+ more pounds). I suspected a second pregnancy would be harder but I didn’t think it would be quite this challenging. I’m glad I had the time and resolve to focus on my physical health for as long as I did.
Now, though, it’s time to take it easy. I’ve started taking naps every afternoon and they are doing wonders for my ability to make it through the evening with Osita. I must admit, I feel guilty taking an hour nap every afternoon but at this point I really do need it. I’m getting such crappy sleep at night and being up on my feet most of the day teaching is tiring me out; I’m so incredibly fortunate to have the time to take a nap before I pick my daughter–I’m trying to just embrace it and not feel bad about it.
I’m also trying to do what I NEED to do, and not what I want to do. Sometimes that can be hard–hard to determine and even harder to actually manage. I don’t really like taking it easy, it’s not conducive to how much I need to get done both at work and at home, but at this point my body is telling me to slow down and I’m doing my best to listen.