Quiet

Frequently, during my attempt at posting every day this summer, it has felt like I’m the only one left in the neighborhood, trying to find people to hang out with only to be reminded that they’ve all gone away. I write a post every day–and try to comment on at least five or six posts in my reader–but there just isn’t that much to read. I excitedly refresh my reader in the morning (first thing after checking my email) and find only four or five posts most of the time. During the school year I expect 10 or 15.

I guess not that many people are writing right now.

I even re-visited the PAIL “kids over 2” blogroll and found that at least 1/3 (maybe close to 1/2?) of the blogs I clicked on (and by no means did I try all of them) hadn’t been updated since June. Which is fine, I realize a lot of people have other, more important shit to do (though I, evidently, do not) but I’m not going to start following a blog that hasn’t posted in a month. It’s just hard to get to know someone when they are only writing sporadically.

I’m not writing any of this to sound judgmental, though maybe that is exactly how it comes across. I guess I’m just trying to say it feels a little lonely in the blogosphere, plugging away on my little blog when everyone else is out doing… I don’t know… something else? I don’t want to assume everyone else is on some fabulous vacation because I know that is not the case for many bloggers I follow. And even if they were, I’d be happy for them. I guess I just miss everyone. And I’m not sure what to do with myself while everyone is “away.” I’m plowing through Kindle books. I’m attempting Hypnobabies, which requires more time than I had expected. I know I could clean my house more. Maybe that is why I’m sad there aren’t more blogs to read, I have fewer excuses to avoid doing the dishes.

And of course there are plenty of people who are posting–and thank gawd for you! You are literally saving my sanity, helping me to feel less alone. SO THANK YOU. I very much appreciate it.

I only have one more week of summer with childcare. The week Isa is home will be very busy and then the next week I go back to school (just staff days to start, but still, it’s work). I’m sure my posts then will be shorter, less coherent. Heck, maybe I’ll even miss a few days. I mean it’s just a self-imposed goal; nothing bad will happen if I don’t actually post once a day all summer. I’ve already missed a few days, in fact (though I tried to make it up the next day by posting twice).

Anyway, enough of my whining. The reality is, this isn’t about anybody else, it’s about me. It’s about the fact that I don’t have many IRL friends that live near by and can get together. It’s about the fact that I chose to undertake this extensive backyard project that is incredibly isolating. It’s about how I rely too heavily on this community to fill my social needs. It’s about how I stepped away from Twitter (I just couldn’t hang), which I’m sure is thriving during the summer doldrums. It’s about my shit, not anyone else’s. And I need to stop throwing mini pity parties about it and just suck it up and make some changes. Or deal with it if I can’t.

Are you writing right now? Does your reader seem affected by the summer doldrums? Do you miss blogging when posts are scarce or is it a nice respite?

29 responses

  1. I remember the blogging being slow this time last year too. I have a million posts written in my head but no time to write them. I’m lucky to get a couple of comments done per day since I had to lug out my laptop every night after E’s bedtime and every weekend naptime in July to work more. I’d rather be blogging.

    • Yeah, it’s always slow in the summer. I guess the big difference is I’m trying to write more, which makes the slow down more pronounced. Also, summer is isolating for me, as a teacher, so there is that too.

  2. This post was so interesting for me to read because I am having just the opposite experience. My summer has been incredibly busy – working, fertility clinic appointments, getting our house ready for renters, trying to find a new house in our crappy price range (not an easy task!), studying for my licensing exam, etc…and of course, all the while parenting a toddler. I have missed the blogging community like crazy, and I hate that I’m not writing. I actually have tons of guilt about it, feeling like I’m letting my friends down, worrying I’m getting secretly dumped for lack of online activity. It’s on my mind so much. Big things are happening to my blogging friends – great things and tragic things – and much of the time, I read their posts on my phone while I’m walking the dog with Harriet in the stroller, but I don’t get a chance to comment until much later…if ever. I hate it. Last night I had to go through my email and delete a bunch of old posts. I had like 350 emails in my inbox and with the new posts coming in every day, I knew I’d never be able to go back and catch up. I can’t keep up, let alone catch up.

    So anyways, I’m sorry that you have felt lonely. I know that I’m not helping that situation. I’m feeling lonely too…just in my case, it’s my own fault.

    • Wow, you have so much going on! I can’t even imagine how much work getting a house ready to rent is. That would drive me crazy (see horrible housekeeping skills above).

      You are definitely not part of the problem though. You comment on my posts all the time! I enjoy comments just as much as posts. πŸ˜‰

  3. I write, but not near as often as I used to. I rarely use my laptop these days with a new baby around, and typing on my phone is awful. And… I slowed down before Bryson was born due to just being a little overwhelmed by it. And I was pregnant, and I didn’t want to write mostly about being pregnant. Ha!

    I miss the posts too. Lots of people I was following quit their blogs for various reasons and I haven’t found new people to follow yet.

    The summer is always super quiet.

    Sent from my Windows Phone ________________________________

    • It’s interesting that you mention you didn’t write as much when you were pregnant because you didn’t want to write all the time about being pregnant. Your blog is one of the ones I look to when I’m wondering how pregnant women don’t write about pregnancy all the time (as I’m trying–and seemingly failing–to do). I guess they manage by not writing as much period!

      I can’t imagine I’ll be writing much if this baby comes to us as expected. Maybe that is why I’m trying to write so much now, to get it out of my system. πŸ˜‰

      • I would hardly say you’re failing at that! I love your blog, and am sad the few days you don’t post. I think your blog is incredibly well rounded!!

  4. It’s definitely been slower around here lately. Thank goodness for you, or I’d have nothing to read at all! I, too, gave been feing more isolated lately and in need of some real-life friends. I just joined a couple of meetups, so I’m hoping that’ll help a bit. It is wonderful having this community, but relying on it as my main friendships does t work so well.

    • I feel you on the relying too much on this community for friendships. I do this every once in a while, I fall back too hard on this community to keep my from feeling isolated and then I feel even more lonely for it. I, like you, need to find a way to have more meaningful adult interaction in my everyday life. I guess it’s good that work is starting soon, although as a teacher that is it’s own kind of isolating. I guess I need to make more friends. Too bad that feels pretty much impossible. I know I’m preaching to the choir on this one. πŸ˜‰ Good for you for planning meet ups! I can’t wait to hear more about them.

    • Fair enough! I think I must believe I comment more than I do. I’m trying but I’m so frequently on my phone and Feedly hates when I try to comment. I must remedy this ASAP.

  5. Yes, it’s been a bit quiet in my “neighborhood” too. People get busy during summer. I know I’ve been a bit crazy recently. I have found that there are natural “lulls”, and this seems to be one of them. I’m planning on posting a bit later today…nothing exciting, just about diaper bags!

  6. I have definitely not written as much this summer- and I miss it. For me, it’s been a combination of not much to write about (well, I have a lot that I would love to write about, but not for my current audience…I really need an anonymous blog- ha) and just being tired/lazy at the end of these hot days. My husband and I have also indulged in several TV series this summer and have been spending our evenings vegging in front of the TV instead of blogging, cleaning, or doing anything else more productive. At first I felt bad about that, but I realized I needed that downtime. I have several posts swirling around in my head- I just need to sit and get them written.

    • I am a HUGE supporter of the anonymous blog. Personally, I don’t know how people post under their real names, with family and friends reading. I’d be completely tongue tied, ALL THE TIME. I haven’t posted on my public blog in almost a year because nothing ever seems quite appropriate enough, I feel I could tackle an issues more in depth on my anonymous blog. I can’t imagine blogging like you do. Of course you do it with a lot of grace, just like everything else you accomplish! πŸ˜‰

  7. I completely agree. I’ve missed the “activity.” It makes me wonder if people are out and about doing fun “summer things.” For me, summer is pretty much the same as the rest of the year. No change in weather, no change in routine. So here I am, still plugging along. I miss comments and blog posts though!

    • The blogosphere slows down EVERY summer. Like clockwork. It will pick up again soon. It’s funny I wrote that post and then had like 25 posts in my reader today. I felt like such a hypocrite. πŸ˜‰

  8. I’ve been a total blogging slacker recently – I want to write every day but can’t seem to manage it – I was actually thinking precisely of YOU the other day as an inspiration! We’re getting into the swing of things at work and at home so maybe I can pick it up again soon.

    p.s. I am SO IMPRESSED with your backyard progress!!!! way to go!

    • It sounds like your dissertation takes precedence over your blog right now, as it should. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it too much until you’re all done with that daunting task.

  9. I personally think that there hasn’t been as much to read because a lot of people in my Feedly are pregnant after IF or just had their babies. I don’t fault anyone who just had a baby as I don’t see myself typing out tons of blogs while my baby is still young. And for those of us that are pregnant, well, I try to keep my pregnancy posts to a minimum while also keeping a record of what is going on (not sure if I am succeeding though). For me, work has been really busy so I hope to post three times a week, not five.

    • I lot of people in my feed are also pregnant. I feel like I am actually part of a “wave” of pregnancy announcements, as I have called them in the past, and I’ve had shifting feelings about that. I’ve actually meant to write about it, maybe this week. πŸ˜‰

      Also, three times a week is an AWESOME achievement! Good for you!

  10. I’m slacking, mostly because I’m focused on a big project. You know what it is πŸ˜‰ I’ve been horrible about reading and commenting on blogs. I feel guilty about that.

  11. I’m swamped. Lots to do during night, when I’m home, and can’t write during the day … I don’t even check Facebook any more. Which is, I’ve decided, a good thing. And I just don’t feel inspired. I haven’t cooked anything new. I am full of shame for my lackluster writing life.

    • NO SHAME! NO SHAME! You are in the midst of one of the most stressful transitions in an adult’s life (my partner has been reminding me of that every day for two months) so I think you should cut yourself some slack. Plus you posted every day in July! Which is an amazing feat! So go easy on yourself, okay? πŸ˜‰

  12. As someone who is usually enjoying/bearing the completely opposite season from most bloggers, I’ve noticed over the years (6 yrs blogging) that there is always a lull over summer in the northern hemisphere. I’d find, in the dead of winter in NZ, that all my blog buddies were off out in the sun, or doing whatever they do (those with kids and those without – all non-IF blogs), in summer, and by September, they’d start to return.

    I’m also impressed that you can post every day. And comment 5-6 times. Feedly I find is quite good for commenting. But not so much on my phone/iPad where I have real problems with blogger blogs.

  13. I don’t know if I just have shit time management skills or what, but I mean to write on my blog and comment more, but I am exhausted at the end of the day. Generally during the day I’m not on the computer at all, and I am a 24/7 SAHM of a very active toddler. My only breaks are when Chris is home putting Luke to bed because he rarely naps these days and if he does it’s in the car. I generally use that time to either shower or do hypnobabies.

    I’m on now because the kid is watching Sesame street and still in his pjs. OY!

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