Since we started testing, Mi.Vida and I have received a number of severe blows. We keep getting knocked down, over and over again. We try to get back up, we try to grasp onto hope, but then another blow comes and we go toppling.
Today we received the preliminary results of Mi.Vida’s second SA. This one was taken at the RE’s office, to rule out transport being an issue. While the strict morphology results aren’t in yet (that will take a few more days) the rest of the results are available.
They aren’t good.
Here is what my doctor’s email said:
For perspective, the counts are approaching or in the range in which IVF is generally the recommended modality.1/30/13Volume 5.3 cc (prior 4.5 cc)Motility 14% (prior 35%)Concentration 4 Mil/mL (prior 18.9 Mil/mL)No RBC or WBC (prior Mod RBC, Few WBC noted)
From what I can see with my untrained eye the results look quite a bit worse. And if it is recommended that we move right to IVF, I don’t know how we’ll feel about spending money on IUIs.
Because we can’t actually afford IVF–at least not for a few years–this comes as a big blow. I honestly don’t know how we’ll move forward.
I will admit, I’m surprised, heartbroken really. I had high hopes (or at least hopes) that his results would be better. I thought maybe the almost hour in transit between my boobs messed things up. I thought maybe things just weren’t great that day. So many people told me stories of bad first SAs and great second ones. I thought that would be us.
But it’s not. Every piece of diagnostic information is a slap in the face. We just keep getting knocked down. And I don’t know how many more times we can get back up.