Metaphysically Wrinkle Free*

(Sorry for he heavy posting lately. I can’t seem to help myself.)

Most of the time this community is my refuge but sometimes it can totally sucker punch me right in the mouth. I’m sitting here with metaphorical teeth dangling from my bruised gums and blood soaking my shirt. It is not pretty.

A poignant reminder that we are never safe. Those of us who of the questionably-fertile-mentally-unbalanced persuasion at least. Even here, there is no rest for the weary (or crazy–or both).

(Don’t worry about that by the way, it’s just me responding poorly to shit that has NOTHING to do with me at all.)

I’m playing hooky right now and it’s just what I needed. You might wonder how a teacher can play hooky without dire consequences so I’ll quickly explain. I asked my administration for a favor this year and it was granted. I don’t have the 10-minute home room class that everyone else has and my first period is my prep. This allows me to take my daughter to school half of the week (it was going to be every day of the week before we moved but our new house is so close to Isa’s school that it’s not necessary for me to take her every day). The other half of the week I take a 7th grader to school (her parents are divorced and her mom lives in the city and I drive her on the days she’s with her mom) so on those days I’m there right when school starts and use that morning time to prep.

(It should be mentioned that I am paying dearly for this specially situation–I have to provide supervision during our fifteen minute break EVERY DAY all year long. This means I have only one messily thirty minute lunch break during my teaching day.)

Well today I drove her to school and should have been in my classroom in the morning but today we also have a Veterans Day assembly, the same Veterans Day assembly that I’ve seen eight times before, which means that my start time has been pushed back and I have a little leeway this morning. So I just dropped my charge off at school and turned around and went to Starbucks and I’m going to pretend like I had to take Isa to school today because Ben is sick and staying home (which is true, but he is pulling his ass out of bed to take Isa to school first). So I’m here, writing a post, enjoying a hot chocolate and egg and bacon sandwich, rocking out to Starbuck’s sad-women jams. It’s a great time. πŸ˜‰

This is all especially wonderful because now I have time to share the good news and the bad news of this month’s TTC attempts (because I know you’re all awaiting with baited breath to hear).

The bad news is that yesterday I forced Mi.vida to do the deed with me, despite the fact that he was feeling just awful. For the sake of his sanity, I let him do it however he wanted and of course he picked the way that hurts me the most (curses you bullshit third degree tear scar tissue, you are my sex nemesis!) and luckily we “got ‘er done” as people say (on the bumper stickers on the backs of muddy trucks?) but not without significant casualties. Also, I can thoroughly recommend NOT attempting sex when you both have a hacking cough because it’s REALLY hard to not cough for an extended period of time when you’re exerting yourself physically in that way, but it’s also necessary to abstain because coughing produces an unintended but very noticeable contraction in your lady-parts-region.

So yeah. Ae you still reading? I’m not sure what to think if you are. I wouldn’t be if I were you. πŸ˜‰ (That’s a lie, I’d still be reading but I’d also be making a mental note to never come back here again.)

Anyway, the good news is that I POAS today and the test line was DARKER than the control line. I’ve NEVER made an OPK respond that way so I’m pretty stoked. So luckily we can just have sex tonight and be done with it and for that I’m truly grateful. (Also, making OPKs turn positive is a rarity for me so I always feel REALLY GOOD about myself when it happens. Yes. I’m totally nutso. I know this.)

Okay so that is where I am right now, at 8:43am: physically at Star.bucks (and not at school) and mentally and emotionally all over the fucking place.

This weekend is our staycaction. We have plans to get drunk at a tailgate, eat yummy Italian food at a pop-up restaurant at a local bar, see the new Bond flick (my choice of Cloud Atlas was vetoed–damn you Onion A.V. Club for hijacking my theater-going experience!) sleep in and just generally enjoy each other (and the quiet of a toddler-free house). I hope Isa enjoys the time with her grandparents. I know they will.

And I hope you all have a lovely long weekend.

*I feel the need to note that I did not come up with that title, it’s from a movie, I believe it’s the movie with Colin Farrell where he is training to be an undercover agent. I can’t remember the name. Definitely two words, starts with “The.”

5 responses

  1. OK I read it all…and laughed til I snorted half way through. I’m glad you were able to find a moment for yourself with starbucks in hand…always a good sign for me πŸ™‚

    Being sucker punched in the face kind of sucks. I’m doing my own little pity party thing over here and don’t know how to share it, so I’m keeping it to myself. You’ve got my email so feel free to share if you need to vent to someone….I’m here for you!

    Have a wonderful fantabulous staycation weekend. My hubs and I will be tailgating this weekend too…probably in the rain. My parents have the kid and the dog walker is taking care of the furries…we plan on really enjoying a fabulous day together and hope our team wins πŸ™‚

    And fingers crossed the OPK is a positive sign of good things to come! HUGS!!!

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