Really?! I’m writing this? At quarter till tomorrow?

Well it better, at least, be short.

I realized the other day that not having a post scheduled for the next morning makes me anxious in that I-might-not-sleep-if-I-don’t-just-suck-it-up-and-write-something kind of way. So here I am, at quarter till tomorrow, tapping away on my iPad. I’m an addict I tell you, it’s the only explanation.

But really I should be asleep. Oh god how I should be asleep because by some small miracle my ornery-almost-2.5yo daughter is finally asleep but there is no telling how long that will last so any half-past-mildly intelligent human being would take advantage of it while she can.

God knows I need my sleep because the past nights have been sleep-deprivation-of-tortuous-proportions bad and believe it or not but you need your rest to facilitate in the failing of 1/3 of your Math 8 class, there have been studies you know.

Have I mentioned that a hearty 1/3 of my math class is failing? Because they are. And not in that on-the-cusp-of-a-D-minus kind of way but in that epically-craptastic-30%-F-minus-minus-minus kind of way. It’s really hard for me to come to terms with and I’m not sure how to make it any better so instead I cry a lot as they are leaving the room and tell myself that my genuinely caring that I’m failing them at least counts for something.

But it doesn’t really, not in the grand scheme of things.

The hilarious thing is I’m up so late because I was writing a test for them, a test that they will most likely fail. So I’m losing sleep to create assessments whose results will later cause me to lose more sleep, but in the how-can-I-fix-this kind of way.

Fuck. Seriously, it’s almost midnight and I need to go the fuck to sleep. I need a lot of things right now and this glowing screen (as awesome as it may be–joining the tech committee was totally worth getting to pretend I own an iPad for the year, by the way) is sadly not one of them.

I read a quote somewhere recently, or maybe it was more of a suggestion or simply a piece of sage advice: If you wouldn’t wake up early to do it, you probably shouldn’t stay up late getting it done. And while I do love posting on my blog, I wouldn’t be so inclined to do so at 5am. So with that I will go. I hope you all have a happy Hump Day, because the great thing about Wednesday is we only have as many days to the coming weekend as we have days since the past weekend and I, for one, love that kind of symmetry.

4 responses

  1. I don’t get up to do anything…..except leave for vacation….I am NOT a morning person. I work much better later in the day so staying up late works for me. But of course you’re right. I need to sleep when I can. Last night was one of the first nights my daughter has slept through the whole night since this teething episode started a week and a half ago. Why the eff am I awake so damn early? Who knows!?

  2. It probably doesn’t help but you do know some classes really are just unusually terrible just as others are unusually engaged and “clicking”. Not just the mix you have in that particular class, I mean actual cohorts. Have you spoken to any teachers who had this group last year for math or related “hard” subjects?

    I also really don’t want you to take this the wrong way, my experiences with friends and former students may definitely be coloring my perceptions here. But you’ve been SO depressed lately, and now suddenly…not. The pace and style of your writing has even changed to be sort of louder, fast paced, aggressively happy or as in this post sort of not exactly happy but still very manic. Have you in the past had the sort of depression that cycles? I am not there and am only basing this on your posts so if I’m reading too much into it, ignore me!

  3. I just love this post! I love it for everything it contains. You had me laughing out loud about creating a test that they will fail, which will cause you more misery. HA! I have NEVER thought of that angle as a teacher – but it’s so true! And the quote at the end – resonates with me. It’s time for me to start putting the computer down and going to bed at a decent time.

    Seriously love this post! 🙂

  4. I posted on twitter this morning about hating the term humpday, but it was totally not directed at you, since I just now read this post. I also stay up too late doing things I shouldn’t be doing like watching videos of Miss E over and over but can’t keep my eyes open when I’m required to stay up late for something legitimate, like work.

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