Okay y’all, are you ready for some unicorn farts and fairy queefs up in this shit? Because I’m about to go all rainbow sparkly on your ass. Seriously.
(And I know this is a somber day for many, but honestly, I just needed to put something positive out there today. I hope I don’t offend anyone by doing so. Oh, and if you want some AMAZEBALLS awesomesauce, go read Keiko’s fabulous news. It’s cool, I’ll wait. Her’s is better than mine anyway. ;))
This weekend was good. For a lot of reasons. On Friday I went to Target and bought a shit load of new clothes. I’ve been hemming and hawing about buying new clothes because, well next month I might be pregnant and it’s silly to buy clothes when they might not fit three months from now. But for some reason I walked into Target on Friday, intending to get a few quick things, and instead I found myself in the women’s clothing section and they had waffle-knit shirts and I LOVE waffle-knit shirts and it’s been years since I’ve found really cute ones and they had SO MANY and I just grabbed one in every color and then I grabbed some bring turquoise cords and some muted purple skinny jeans and some t-shirts and some sweaters and sure it was a huge blow to my Target RED card but you know what, it made me so good. SO FUCKING HAPPY. And for once, I almost hope I don’t get pregnant because man, I really want to wear these cute clothes for a few months. Honestly. I do.
As my good friend Jjiraffe says, Fashion Heals.
On Saturday afternoon I took Isa down south to nap at my parents’ before a friend’s party. Before her nap we needed to get lunch so we stopped at my favorite taco place. One of my favorite things is sharing what I love with my daughter and I had a great time introducing her to horchata, one of my favorite drinks. Needless to say, Isa was a big fan (horchata is a sweet almond milk with cinnamon, so no surprise that she wanted ¡MAS POR FAVOR!). We had a blast at lunch, which was nice because lately going out with her has been a real challenge.
After Isa’s nap (which ended up being three and half hours long!) we went to my friend’s party. There were a bunch of first and second graders there and they were so cute with Isa, jumping with her on the trampoline for hours.
She was in heaven. At one point I was remarking at how great all the kids were being with Isa and my friend mentioned that it was extra curious because they were all only children. That seemed odd to me so later I wasn’t that surprised when I learned that two of the women there were IF veterans. One adopted a child from Korea after several failed IUIs (they were afraid they’d blow all their money on IVF so moved straight to adoption after those failed) and another got pregnant with her son on her fifth IVF cycle. Both had wanted to have more kids but didn’t have the emotional and financial reserves to further build their families. My friend was only able to have one child because she was diagnosed with breast cancer when her daughter was one year old and was told she should not get pregnant again.
It was strange to be there in the company of women who had not only suffered IF but were speaking about it openly. There was something about the whole experience that made me feel, I don’t know, less alone. I haven’t left a party feeling that way in a long time.
On Sunday, my BFF Jjiraffe and I made time to get together and talk and man, was it nice. There is no substitute for sitting across from a good friend with a spiced pumpkin chai latte. Truly. I am so thankful to have J in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without her.
Finally, last night I found my pearl necklace, the one I bought after my miscarriage. I couldn’t find it during the move and was sure it was lost, but today I randomly spotted it while rifling through a drawer looking for safety pins. I was elated to have it back again, right in time for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
To top it all off, Mi.Vida and I randomly, just luck of the every other day draw, hit my O date perfectly yesterday. Between the good timing, the acupuncture (which I go to today), the increased CM (thank you B6!) and Mi.Vida actually remembering to take his Fertility Blend for Men this month, I can feel my hope soaring to dangerous heights. And that’s okay. At least for now. I’ll spend the rest of the 2WW tempering that hope. Today I’m just going to revel in it.
So yeah, it was a really good weekend.
If you’re not all unicorn-fart-and-fairy-queefed out after that, I applaud you. You are a more positive person than I.