I’ve hit that packing wall, the one where you look around and you no longer see the things that can be packed, but you recognize that there is still a ton of stuff that obviously isn’t packed. It’s a strange place to be and I’m trying to maneuver through it, trying to keep chipping away at the massive amount of crap that belongs to us, trying to determine if it should keep belonging to us or if it should be set free.
(I forgot to mention a really serendipitous chain of events in which we were able to store our packed boxes in my sister’s recently abandoned room across the street. She moved out of her apartment (literally right across the street from us) but had paid until the 15th, so I get to use her space (actually the front room that they weren’t using anyway) to store the boxes which makes packing SO MUCH EASIER. If we don’t get into the apartment by the 15th (impossible at this point) they will let us keep using the room for a reasonable fee. This set up has made our whole experience so much more manageable.)
I get rid or something in every “area” that I pack; bedding, DVDs, CDs, books, clothes, kitchenware, etc. The only place I don’t go through stuff is Isa’s room because honestly, right now I don’t have it in me. I do pull aside some stuff for my dear friend who’s due in October. Some is for her to keep and other stuff is for her to borrow. The newborn stuff is needed for such a short period of time, I couldn’t possibly need it before she is done with it, even if I get pregnant in the very near future (highly unlikely).
But yeah, it’s hard to be in Isa’s room, packing all the stuff we haven’t needed for a while now, wondering if we’ll ever need it again. I will admit to breaking down in a puddle of heaving sobs every once in a while but when it happens I pick myself up quickly.
So all of that is going on while I slowly but surely prepare Isa to start school. I totally messed up and didn’t realize (until I checked her school’s calendar a week ago) that they are closed the week I expected her to start. Actually, I wanted her to start this week so I would have plenty of time to pack and she’d have plenty of time to get acclimated but when I found out about the week off (and that I’d have to pay for that week if we started before) there was no other choice but to start her the week I go back to work, which means no half days to soften the blow. I feel horrible for her and I worry constantly about how she’ll weather this transition. She’s never been in a group care situation and lately she’s been very mommy-focused. I think this is going to be a really, really difficult transition for her and my heart breaks for the struggle I know she’ll face.
I am trying to prepare her in what little ways I can. We stopped giving her a sippy cup of warm milk before her nap and finally, after a week, she no longer asks for it. I’ve been putting her nap mat in her crib during naps too, and yesterday I took down the light-blocking blinds so that she can get used to falling asleep in a brighter room. Her naps are a total shit show right now, and if I didn’t know better I’d wonder if she were about to drop them (seriously, I will lose my shit if she drops her nap at barely two years old) but even if that were the case, I’m sure once she starts school she will need that nap again so I’m just soldiering on, despite her protests. (She doesn’t cry or anything, she just doesn’t sleep, insisting instead of chattering and singing and jumping and yelling gleefully. It’s quite cute, actually, but also very distracting).
As far as the actual move goes, it looks like we won’t get into the house until next Friday at the absolute earliest. On Monday I have a training at 8:30 and it’s also Isa’s first day at school. I would have loved to be able to pick her up early but that is not in the cards. Oh well, I guess it’s trial by fire for all of us. This month is going to be totally, fucking insane.
Did I mention I am moving into a new classroom that week of the 20th? Because I am. (I’m pretty sure I mentioned it once or twice, or a bazillion times). So basically that whole week I’m going to be unpacking my classroom all day and then coming home and unpacking my house all night, all while trying to assure my two year old that I am still here for her despite what dropping her off at 8 hours of preschool every day might lead her to believe.
Oh, and that weekend before school starts? I have a wedding in LA. I know I could ditch it and I’m seriously considering it at the moment, but if I do I will miss out on the only college reunion we’ve had in years, and probably the only one we will have in years. It will be really hard to miss, especially after I just missed out on BlogHer.
So yeah. Things are a little… stressful right now. I will admit, I have my panicked moments. There are times when I can’t fathom how it will all get done, how I will have a classroom ready for hundreds of kids that Monday morning and their parents that same Monday night (why is Back to School Night on the first day of school?! WHY?!?!?!?!), how we will live in our new apartment when most of the furniture is sitting, unbuilt, in IKEA boxes in my in-laws garage, where they will remain (unbuilt) until we move into our new house? How will my daughter will start school only days after, or the same day as, moving into a new room in a new home? It’s all so much, too much really, for each and every one of us. I honestly don’t know how we’re going to do it.
But it has to get done. So it will. At least that is what I keep telling myself. I just keep trudging along, pretending like this is going to happen… because it has to.