Entirely Inadequate

We didn’t get the house. Not even close. Someone offered $100K over asking. This is for a three bedroom, one bathroom house four blocks from the city boundary, in an area I don’t even want to live in. If that little house went for so much over what we can bring to the table, I don’t really understand why we’re trying. I went into this whole house hunting endeavor with so little hope. Now I have none.

Our real estate agent assures me we’ll find something, something we’re happier to get than that house. First of all, I LOVED that house. There will never be one I like more. And I realized during this whole situation that I don’t really want to live in any of the areas we can afford, so if I’m going to buy a house there I want it to be a house that I really LOVE. And if I really love a house, there will always be someone else who loves it enough to outbid us.

Recently I read the most depressing article about the fledgling tech boom in San Francisco that is driving rents sky high and heating up the housing market. It will price out even more of the middle class and in a few years, we’ll have no hope of staying here. The thing is, I don’t want to wait that long to realize our future in San Francisco is doomed. I’d rather get out now, while we might find something we can afford elsewhere.

It’s so discouraging to know how entirely inadequate your resources are to build the future you hoped for. It’s so depressing to realize that we did all of that and never had a snowball’s chance in hell of getting that house. It’s so upsetting to realize that the life you want is totally impossible for you, and that you better start fashioning some new dreams, ones better suited to your meager existence.

Anyway, I’m really bummed out about the whole thing. I was ready to not get the house but I was not ready for our best attempt, $50K over asking, to be so inconsequential. I was not ready for my hope to be so entirely extinguished. And I was not ready to feel like we have so few options for the future.

This weekend those friends come back through town. We have to host a family of four in our 800 sq ft apartment for four days. I just want to burrow into a hole until they’re gone. Maybe I could go live in a cave made of packing boxes at my classroom. Of course, that is the only place on Earth that would be more horrible to spend the weekend. Nothing like not having choices. I suppose I should be used to it by now.

10 responses

  1. Oh hon, I’m sorry they didn’t accept your offer.
    BUT – take it from someone who was house hunting for TWO YEARS – you think you won’t love anything more, but you will. You think that you won’t be able to find something that is perfect for you, but you will.
    Buying a home is a process. You rarely get it on the first try. Don’t give up hope. Just give it some time!

  2. I am so, so sorry.

    I just read an article proclaiming that the entire economy is doomed? If that helps? I so, so feel you on how frustrating and disappointing this is. (((Hugs)))

  3. I’m so sorry for this huge disappointment. I feel lucky that we were able to score what I thought at the time (2007) was a decent deal on a small house in a nice neighborhood, but the income increases we expected five years ago have not happened. The very thought of the debt we’ve maintained to keep up our not-at-all-extravagant lifestyle and achieve this pregnancy makes me feel quite ill. I don’t want my kid(s? so ahead of myself) to grow up feeling as [relatively] poor as I do lately, and it’s overwhelmingly stressful to not see a practical way out of it.

    Sorry, that was very me-me-me. Terrible way to say, I so sympathize – it really sucks to have done things “the right way” and not see a way to reap the benefits that seemed promised. I hope that Mo is right and you will find a reasonable place sooner than later that will bring you that “Ahhh, I”m home!” feeling!

  4. I’m sorry you guys didn’t get the house. It must be frustrating to know your best offer wasn’t even close. But I think it’s worth giving it another shot, when you feel up to it.

  5. I’m so sorry. Please don’t give up hope though- there’s bound to be a house out there for you, somewhere. I’ll be thinking of you this weekend- don’t you be washing any sheets!

  6. Uhg, I’m sorry it didn’t happen for you. What a crazy market that the house went for $100K over asking price! I know it probably doesn’t help much right now, but it may not have been the sort of result that would have put you where you wanted in many ways because of the overly high price and the location. Are you considering leaving San Francisco?

  7. I’m so sorry … I know how you felt hopeful about this, even if it was a long shot. (Honestly, when I look at home prices there, I am stunned … we couldn’t even afford to live in the not-good areas, I think, and that was when we were living with two salaries!)

    Your realtor’s reassurances aside, there will be another house … remember, there WERE some things that weren’t perfect. Hang in there. This house-hunting process is supposed to be arduous … unfortunately, too much like TTC in our world.

  8. Are you sure you don’t live in Toronto?? Same things happening hereabouts — not so much where I live in the suburbs, but in the city & especially the most desirable areas, bidding wars with bids going way, way over asking price. It’s ridiculous. Hang in there.

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