We didn’t get the house. Not even close. Someone offered $100K over asking. This is for a three bedroom, one bathroom house four blocks from the city boundary, in an area I don’t even want to live in. If that little house went for so much over what we can bring to the table, I don’t really understand why we’re trying. I went into this whole house hunting endeavor with so little hope. Now I have none.
Our real estate agent assures me we’ll find something, something we’re happier to get than that house. First of all, I LOVED that house. There will never be one I like more. And I realized during this whole situation that I don’t really want to live in any of the areas we can afford, so if I’m going to buy a house there I want it to be a house that I really LOVE. And if I really love a house, there will always be someone else who loves it enough to outbid us.
Recently I read the most depressing article about the fledgling tech boom in San Francisco that is driving rents sky high and heating up the housing market. It will price out even more of the middle class and in a few years, we’ll have no hope of staying here. The thing is, I don’t want to wait that long to realize our future in San Francisco is doomed. I’d rather get out now, while we might find something we can afford elsewhere.
It’s so discouraging to know how entirely inadequate your resources are to build the future you hoped for. It’s so depressing to realize that we did all of that and never had a snowball’s chance in hell of getting that house. It’s so upsetting to realize that the life you want is totally impossible for you, and that you better start fashioning some new dreams, ones better suited to your meager existence.
Anyway, I’m really bummed out about the whole thing. I was ready to not get the house but I was not ready for our best attempt, $50K over asking, to be so inconsequential. I was not ready for my hope to be so entirely extinguished. And I was not ready to feel like we have so few options for the future.
This weekend those friends come back through town. We have to host a family of four in our 800 sq ft apartment for four days. I just want to burrow into a hole until they’re gone. Maybe I could go live in a cave made of packing boxes at my classroom. Of course, that is the only place on Earth that would be more horrible to spend the weekend. Nothing like not having choices. I suppose I should be used to it by now.