I know I’m not supposed to be writing here (my rules, not yours) but I just had to put this out into the world, lest it overwhelm me.
After a couple of frustrating (to put it mildly) false starts and an incredibly confusing BBT chart (plus a mysterious disappearance in CM – right when I need it most, of course!), it looks like I’m finally in my first official 2WW of TTC#2.
I must admit, after eight months of waiting, I’m excited to be in the game. With the end of the school year looming I’m sure I’ll be plenty busy and it will fly by (okay, maybe I hope is more accurate). Plus I have a wedding next weekend which means Mi.Vida and I get to go away for a day. (I’m still trying to decide if I’ll allow myself to indulge in a few glasses of wine – what are your thoughts on this?) I’m also very lucky to have some dear friends, and their two children, in town from London over the long weekend, when I will find out if I’ve miraculously become pregnant on our first try (I have almost no hope that I will) and I welcome the happy distraction they will surely provide.
More than anything I can’t really believe that I’m here. We’ve sat on a couch paying someone to help us get here for over the better part of a year, and now it’s actually happening.
Yesterday my one Mother’s Day request was granted and I got to see The Avengers (which I really can’t recommend enough). In line for the popcorn I asked Mi.Vida if there were more pregnant women around lately or if it were just me. I think you can guess what his response was. And I know he’s right, but damn, what a little shift in focus will do. They are EVERYWHERE. It’s obvious that TTC brain has officially taken over, or at least set up camp somewhere unavoidable in my brain.
So with this I shall sign off on my rogue post. I must admit, it’s hard not to be here. I am proud of the writing I’m doing at my new space but it’s hard not having many people read it and almost no one commenting. I must admit, I’m curious to know why readers here don’t follow me there – after all, I’m tackling so many of the same issues, just a little differently. It’s still my voice, my point of view. I’m sure there are myriad reasons why people stay away, and I turn each possible one over in my head smoothing them into heavy stones, piling them in a hope for greater understanding and acceptance. Please don’t think I’m mentioning to provoke guilt or pity, I am not. I am truly, genuinely curious. Perhaps I’ll ask you all formally when I get back.
In the meantime I look so forward to this week’s Bringing Up Bébé book club. I’m dying to hear what people thought of it and discuss its merits and shortcomings. Bring on the critiques!
In the words of the late, great, Maurice Sendak, “Let the wild rumpus begin!”