Perchance to Dream

Remember that stack of books I wrote about a few days ago? It’s been replaced. By this one.

I’m proud to be reading it, for two reasons.

Reason #1 – I got it at the local library instead of buying it.

Reason #2 – I have every intention of using what I learn from this book.

I’m working on my book. Like crazy. It’s sucking up every free moment of my time. I want to be immersed in it always. It’s becoming such a huge commitment that B and I had to agree to a schedule so he would know when I’d be indisposed and I would know when I had to be getting all the other shit in my life done.

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, working on my book has cut into my blogging time. It’s interesting, I thought the need to write would drive me back here, despite my new project, but I’ve felt strangely fulfilled by what I’m doing. I would have thought that since my work on the book is mostly visual it wouldn’t replace the need to write but it seems to have done just that. I guess having a creative outlet, any creative outlet, satiates me.

Actually, while I haven’t felt any need to write, I have really missed the community that writing affords me. I miss getting comments; I miss the dialogue that happens when I write and people respond. And while I get some of that commenting on others’ blogs, I truly feel the absence of participating in that exchange here, in my space.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to write here while I’m working on my book. I’ve also though a lot about what I’m going to write about as issues like TTC take center stage. I don’t want this blog to become a place where I quickly relate what is happening in my life. While I do want to touch on the subjects of TTC, parenting and relationships I want that to happen in thoughtful, productive posts. I hope they will serve a purpose beyond just relaying my experience. At the very least I insist they be reflective. Or course these are the post that require more time, and more thought, neither of which I have in abundance right now.

I’ll probably be falling back on a lot of pictures posts.

I have to admit, I’m kind of in awe of the fact that I’m finally working on this project – that I actually had a conversation with my partner about what times during the week I would commit to working on my book. MY BOOK. I’ve always wanted to write a children’s book. It’s been a dream of mine since a very young age. The fact that I’m finally realizing that dream is almost incomprehensible. I can’t tell you how good it feels.

Of course I have no idea what will come of it, I have no idea what the final result of all this work will be. It’s very possible that the only copy of this book that will ever be published will be paid for by me, on some cheap printing site, and given to my daughter.  It’s very possible that my family and friends will be the only ones to ever set eyes on a completed copy. It’s possible that all this time and effort will bring no other reward than the simple finished product. And while that possibility saddens me, I know what I’m doing is worth it. I must do this, if only so I can say that I did, that I wrote my book, that I gave it my best shot. I must do this if only so I can know that a life dedicated to this passion is impossible for me, so I can put this dream behind me.

No matter what happens, writing this book will have been worth it.

So imagine how great it would be if something were to come of it…

PS – I’ll be posting everything I’ve completed on Wednesday, February 29th.

I can’t wait to share what I’ve done with all of you!


What is your life long dream – that one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish? Do you still hope to do it someday? 

5 responses

  1. Ooo, that is so cool! Can’t wait to read your children’s book. I have wanted to do that with Beezus. We started it a few months ago. A book about what it is like to lose a sister. My life long dream is to be a novelist…maybe one day. Sending lots of love.

    • What a wonderful idea for a children’s book! I wish I had had that children’s book to read when I was a young girl. Losing my sister was not something others knew how to deal with very well and it was rarely talked about outside of our home. I think if I’d had a resource like the book you want to write, it would have been easier to broach it with others. Good luck!

  2. Can’t wait to see what you’ve done! I agree that when I’m working on anything creative, it fills a hole in me that I definitely feel when I’m not creating something.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s