Empty Spaces

The following was taken from The Tao of Motherhood by Vilma McClure (p. 43):

The empty spaces make wholeness.

The emptiness in a pot makes it valuable;

you can fill it with food or water.

Pay attention to what isn’t.

Listen for what your child does not say.

Observe what she does not do.

Similarly, know that your child uses your empty spaces.

What you do not say resounds.

What you do not do impresses.

I really love this passage. It speaks to me, as a person who constantly tries to fill things, her moments with communication her mind with thoughts, her body with food. It speaks to me as a mother who tries to fill the time with pacifiers and teethers and other toys. It speaks to me as a partner who tries to fill the silence with discussions and treaties and compromises. I am not predisposed to enjoy the emptiness, and yet it is a vital part of who we are. I hope I can continue to acknowledge and even cherish the empty spaces in my life, because if I overlook them I can never find true peace or joy or fulfillment and I will spend my life trying to fill the space that are valuable just the way they are, empty.

4 responses

  1. Pingback: Self-acceptance and unconditional love

  2. OK: I remember why I didn’t comment on this post. It stressed me out! My kids have something to say all the time. There are NO empty spaces. So the thought of paying even more attention to them (when all I do is meet their needs as it is) was like, “Oh, no!”

    I’m sure it’s just a twins thing. When they are by themselves they are much quieter and I do get to wonder about the empty spaces more.

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