Well we did it. Today we finally did it. After much anxiety and fear about how it would feel, whether or not it would hurt, if it would be the same – we did it. We had sex. I was so nervous, so afraid it would be painful, would lack satisfaction. I was terrified it wouldn’t be what it used to be.
Obviously I have to tread carefully here. I have no desire to write about my sex life on my blog. But, I do feel like sex after pregnancy and vaginal birth is something that other women want to know about so I don’t want to omit it from my story. It’s an important part of new motherhood and I cannot pretend like it’s not a huge part of my life.
I can report that it didn’t hurt very much, hardly at all really. I did feel a little tender in some spots but that was very manageable. I had heard that dryness can be an issue while breastfeeding so we were proactive about that. As far as decreased sensation or things being “stretched” and therefor less stimulating, well that didn’t seem to be the case either. Basically it was just the way I remember it, and for that I’m so grateful.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve been so worried about this for so long, in the absence of that worry I feel free. I’m so relieved that this is not an issue. I’m so thrilled that things are back to normal.
I have to admit, it’s strange to be having sex just to have sex. It’s strange that it’s not timed, nor will it be, for the foreseeable future. It’s strange that there’s nothing I hope to gain from the encounter, nothing else I hope to accomplish. It’s strange for sex to feel consequence free.
The reality is, in the coming months I will be having sex for a reason. I will be having sex to nourish my relationship. I’ve read in multiple books that keeping up with your sex life is one of (possibly the most) important thing a couple can do after they have a baby. Having sex keeps you close, helps you each experience fulfillment, brings meaning to your relationship.
I’m sure there will be times when I don’t feel like having sex. Being the primary care giver to a helpless infant is not an aphrodisiac for anybody. But my relationship with Mi.Vida is very important to me and I intend to take care of it. If that means finding enthusiasm for sex when all I want is sleep, then enthusiasm I shall find.
I guess sex still does serve a purpose. Now it serves the purpose that probably got lost while were TTC. Now it’s meant to bring Mi.Vida and I closer together, keeping us happy, keeping us whole.
And now that I’ve done a test drive and I’m sure all my machinery is still running smoothly, I say – bring it on.
BUENAS NOTICIAS – We got the first two discs of Dexter Season 4 from Netflix and we’re already four episodes in. I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!