Maintaining

Me: “We are getting married in less than a week? How do you feel about that?”

Mi.Vida: “Well, at this point we’re just maintaining, right? I don’t really have time to know how I feel about it.”

And frankly, he’s right.

I should be writing a post today about how awesome 2013 was for our family. How it was the year that Mi.Vida finally got a new job and we got pregnant against all odds and welcomed a perfect little man into our family. 2013 rocked our world and I should be writing a gratitude filled post about it. But I’m not, because I can’t, because shit is crazy right now.

I’m getting married on Saturday and even though it’s a VERY small ceremony and not really all that big of a deal, it means something to me and I want it to be special. I don’t have very high expectations but I worry I’ll still be disappointed. I hope the whole thing goes okay.

Today I took my dress (and my preschooler and my two month old) to the mall to try on strapless bras and Spanx. Shockingly (::sarcasmfont::) my go-to strapless bra is not up to the challenge that these 36DDD boobs pose so I had to get a new one. And shockingly (::super sarcasmfont::) my two months postpartum body is looking pretty rough, so intense undergarments are in order. I did find a bra that is up to the task and some Spanx that can kind of reign my stomach in so I guess I’m ready to go. I put it all on to make sure it worked with my dress and I will admit, I HATED how I looked. I know I can’t have high expectations so soon after giving birth but I’m EXTREMELY disappointed in my appearance right now and I just hope I’ll be able to look at my wedding pictures some day without hating the fact that I’m in them. Maybe some day…

I will admit, the timing on this wedding could not be worse. 10 days after Christmas and at the tail end of two weeks home alone with the kids… there just isn’t enough time to get things done. I probably won’t even end up getting the mani/pedi I was hoping for. Oh well. My fingernails are the least of my worries right now.

So yeah, things are a little on the stressful side around here and if it gets quiet in this space, that is why. I promise to update you on the wedding after it happens and I will post pictures, even if I’m embarrassed to see myself in them.

I hope you all have a fabulous last day of 2013 and an even better first day of 2014.

~ by Esperanza on December 30, 2013.

6 Responses to “Maintaining”

  1. Oh sweetie. I am sorry about not feeling good in the dress. I can’t imagine trying to feel happy in a wedding dress of any kind right now. If you are like me, your body isn’t quite your own yet. But, that being said, with the help of a good bra and some Spanx, most of it wil be in your head and totally unnoticeable to others (and in photos!).

    I think, reading your recent posts and just knowing you are getting married less than 3 months after giving birth, I would say “maintaining” is just fine and probably the best you can do. I hope you have help with the kids the day of and days surrounding the wedding so you can find some moments to savor.

    Happy New Year and Congratulations!

  2. I too am sorry you aren’t feeling good about your body during this special wedding time. I think maintaining is an ok place to be, considering all you have going on right now. And I think it says a lot about your commitment to each other that despite your circumstances, you are still pledging yourself to one another. I can’t wait to see pictures!

  3. I’m sure the joy on your face will come through in your pictures…or, cheesy platitude aside, the Spanx will do their magic. Or just hold your precious babies in your arms for the photos.

    I love the new header, btw, this is my first time seeing your blog on the screen rather than the reader in weeks.

  4. I wrote a whole comment and then my phone ate it! But the gist of it was that although the timing of the wedding is crappy in terms of looking your best, it is aactually good timing if you look at it in terms of demonstrating that even in the most challenging of times you are still committed to being together. Which is really what marriage is about.

    That said, I can understand wanting to look good i n the pictures.

  5. You really need to give yourself a break. You just gave birth; your body will not be in top-top shape but in the end, it doesn’t matter. You will have two children for all of the great pictures you will take and it really is more a out the marriage and what comes after the wedding.

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