Hopes for 2013
I will admit that I don’t have high hopes for 2013. Sure 2012 wasn’t all that great but I doubt 2013 will be much better. Maybe 2014 will be our year.
This is what I wrote on my Facebook page; a short (and not-so sweet) farewell to 2012:
2012: Thanks for the house, our continued employment (so we can keep paying the mortgage on said house), our health and the health of our friends and family, oh and of course for all the memorable moments with our tenacious two year old.
I didn’t really appreciate the diagnosis of secondary infertility or the debilitating physical, emotional and financial repercussions we’re sure to incur because of it in 2013 but I guess a girl can’t always have everything.
Oh, and thanks for not actually portending the end of the world. I’d rather it be a surprised anyway.
Yesterday and today are when people reflect on what has been and look towards what might be. I wasn’t really all that interested in doing either. 2012 is a weird year for me: it cradled the birth of one dream and then death of another. I’m not quite sure how to succinctly sum it up. But then, as I looked back into my archives for the year, I realized that I have learned a lot. And there are some damn good posts to show for it.
So here are my hopes for 2013, along with links to past posts that inspired those hopes (and were generally well received in and of themselves). It is, of course, a long list but if you have a free five hours or so, I’m sure you could get through all the old posts. It’s going to take that long to clear out all the ping-back message that WordPress will be sending me when this goes up.
Even if you don’t click on a single link, there are some valuable lessons learned (for me at least) and some true hopes for the future.
Hopes for 2013 (with links to 2012)
I hope this blog brings opportunities to participate in important–if not difficult-discussions with talented bloggers, writers and authors.
I hope that yoga continues to deliver me the supreme peace and acceptance it has in the past.
I hope the ruling on Prop 8 is finally (officially and forever) upheld so that marriage is open to all who seek it in California and my partner and I can finally enter into a nondiscriminatory institution of marriage in our state.
I hope that those who suffered tremendous losses in 2012 will find their happy endings in 2013.
I hope that I will become more skilled at weathering my own emotional storms, as well as the tumults of those I hold dear to my heart.
I hope that, instead of worrying about how to navigate TTC#2 in the ALI community I’m faced with the challenges of navigating pregnancy #2 in the ALI community.
I hope to find more mom-friends that I click with and that have similar parenting styles to my own.
I hope there are no more massive disturbances in the force of the ALI community.
I hope to participate in more photo challenges (or just focus more on photography)
I hope I will learn to function better without my meds or find something effective that I can safely take while trying.
I hope the work we’ve done in couples counseling will continue to serve us well (because lord knows we can’t afford to actually go anymore).
I hope I can finally make real and true peace with my feelings about those in this community who were blessed with surprise second pregnancies as I reconcile my own struggles to build my family.
I hope I can reclaim this space as a safe sanctuary for myself.
I hope I can avoid further blog drama and can refrain from creating enemies for myself in this community.
I hope that the person I portray on this blog can be a more accurate representation of who I am “in real life.”
I hope I can be more accepting of the nature of relationships, both here and in real life.
I hope I can write more thought provoking posts that make me proud.
I hope I can continue to appreciate our amazing new home, while being patient as we try to make it more and more our own.
I hope I can make more realization about how I feel and I why I feel that way.
I hope we can somehow afford treatments despite having no insurance coverage to help mitigate the costs.
I hope things get better with my daughter and I start feeling more competent as a mother.
I hope I can be reunited with hope once again.